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A weekday evening.
On his way home, the man stopped his car in front of a pharmacy. He smoked a cigarette, stalling for a moment, then, as if he had made up his mind, hastily stubbed out the half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray and got out of the car.
Though it probably wasn’t necessary, he had chosen a neighborhood he never usually visited, one that was an ambiguous distance from both his workplace and his residence. He entered the largest of the several pharmacies situated in front of a medium-sized general hospital.
A sign on the door indicated that they were open until 10 p.m., but even though it was just now 8 o’clock, the pharmacy was quiet.
“Welcome.”
Instead of the middle-aged man in casual clothes who sat with his back to the entrance, engrossed in a computer screen, a pharmacist in a white coat emerged from the dispensary in the back to greet the man. She looked to be in her early to mid-thirties, her smile a substitute for the question of what he needed.
The man was strikingly handsome with a rare, exotic air, and tall with a good build that would have drawn attention even from a distance where his face wasn’t clearly visible. Yet, he looked anxious, as if he were being chased.
But she waited patiently.
Judging by his attire, which exuded a natural air of refined taste, and the sophisticated manners revealed in even the smallest, unconscious actions, it seemed unlikely that he was a thug in a financial crisis about to commit a robbery.
Patients who came to a pharmacy for symptoms they found hard to talk about were far more common than people thought. To her, things like athlete’s foot or hemorrhoids were simple ailments, but the patients themselves often had a hard time bringing them up.
However, the reason the man hesitated even after reaching the counter, his expression vexed, was not because of the shame of revealing his condition to others, but because of the humiliation he felt himself.
But he had no other choice. He forced his reluctant lips open.
“Suppressants… I’d like to buy some.”
“Yes, may I see your ID?”
Despite the man’s unusual demeanor, the pharmacist maintained a formal attitude, not a single flicker of her expression changing. Her response helped put the man at ease, even if just a little. He was grateful she didn’t glance at him as if he were some beast, wondering if he was an Alpha in rut. If he had received such a look, this situation would have been even more agonizing. Especially because he wasn’t in rut.
After confirming the mark indicating he was an Alpha, she returned the ID to the man and asked.
“If you have a product you usually take, shall I get you that one?”
He shook his head.
“No, I don’t have one.”
Turning her back for a moment, the pharmacist scanned the shelves behind her, then placed a paper box with a design that emphasized luxury with its dark green and gold colors on the counter.
“This is our most popular product.”
Pushing the box back toward her, the man spoke firmly in a low voice.
“I’ve already tried this one. I’m looking for something stronger.”
The man had already purchased and taken suppressants from another pharmacy.
Suppressants. The man’s entire experience with suppressants was from his distant boyhood, when he had briefly taken them as a supplement during the initial onset of his presentation that came with his second gender manifestation. As a Golden Alpha, he had no need for suppressants, and because he had no desire to become a beast that had to control its heat with such things, he had striven all the more fiercely to perfect himself as a Golden Alpha.
But the suppressants he sought out again after nearly twenty years had almost no effect. At first, he thought they might be working a little, but as soon as ‘he’ began to show his sexual desire for him, they quickly became useless.
“As you know, an Omega’s heat has a somewhat regular cycle due to hormonal action, so a more stable and fundamental suppression is possible… but an Alpha’s rut is highly spontaneous, triggered by their own libido or by the stimulation of an Omega’s pheromones… so even though they’re called suppressants, they can only really work to the extent of dulling the sense of smell.”
The pharmacist explained with a somewhat troubled expression.
It was something the man also knew well.
An Omega’s heat, where they released a large amount of pheromones as their sexual urges intensified, occurred according to a regular hormonal cycle, but an Alpha’s rut was not like that. It had no regularity, no cycle. The moment they felt desire, they released pheromones, and conversely, if they were exposed to an Omega’s pheromones, they reacted immediately, arousing their libido.
It was one of the reasons he himself could not feel that Alphas were superior to Betas or Omegas, and also why he had spared no effort to become a Golden Alpha.
That… animalistic nature, of releasing pheromones beyond his own control due to the stimulation given by another and indulging in the other’s pheromones, was something he had thought had come to a complete end along with his immature boyhood.
“There is a stronger product, but it can cause your sense of smell to become almost non-functional temporarily. If you take it continuously, it could fundamentally affect your olfactory function itself. You are… aware of that, right?”
The pharmacist asked cautiously, as if to confirm, while observing the man’s stiff complexion.
“I have no intention of taking it long-term. Two boxes of this, please.”
At the man’s words, she packaged and handed him two smaller boxes than the previous one. Along with a warning to take two pills at a time, no more than twice a day.
“By any chance… are you not a Golden Alpha?”
As the man finished paying and was about to turn away from the counter, she called out to stop him. Then, she added in a deliberate tone to the man who had turned back.
“If you’re a Golden Alpha and have suddenly found yourself in need of suppressants, it would be better to see a specialist rather than taking over-the-counter medication.”
The man gave a nod, as if agreeing with her suggestion.
“I’ll do that.”
But even a specialist, no, a world-renowned authority in the field, was unable to explain the man’s current situation. A Golden Alpha temporarily showing an abnormality in their pheromone control function. It was a more complicated problem than that.
Tossing the bag of medicine onto the passenger seat, the man lit a cigarette. He was on the verge of a hollow laugh at the fact that the only thing he could rely on right now were a few damn capsules.
Only after chain-smoking three cigarettes was the man able to grip the steering wheel again.
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“And then he went and rejected them all again, you know?”
Yuni Noona threw her arms wide open, her voice rising with an aggrieved expression.
She was talking about the interviews for the new employee Phantom was hiring. She was extremely displeased, saying that he had rejected all the candidates that she and Hyung had painstakingly shortlisted from the people who had come in for interviews over the past week.
“Right now, there are a lot of applicants since it’s the season when fourth-year students are looking for jobs, but at this rate, forget a vacation, we’re going to be stuck working overtime without a single day off in August before we go to Chicago, you know? I mean, is it easy to find someone you like right off the bat? Why is our CEO so damn picky?”
Noona hugged the passenger seat where Juhan-hyung was sitting, her face crumpling.
“It’s because I suddenly quit…”
“No, no. It’s not your fault, so don’t go thinking strange things.”
Before my apology could get any longer, Noona raised her index finger and resolutely silenced my lips.
Yuni-noona, Juhan-hyung, and I had met at a large supermarket and were on our way back after grocery shopping together.
Last Sunday, Hyung and Morae had left, and starting the very next Monday, I stopped going to work at Phantom. And I moved my things into the basement of his house.
The Plan A he had mentioned was the basement of his house.
Although it was called a basement, since the first floor was at the height of a flight of stairs up, more than half of it was exposed above ground. The windows were large and numerous, so there was plenty of light, and ventilation was not an issue. It was comfortable, completely free of the dampness or mustiness characteristic of a basement.
He had explained that the previous owner had renovated it cleanly into a studio apartment for his son, who was studying abroad at the time, to live in upon his return, so there would be no inconveniences. Indeed, the floors and walls were pristine, and it was perfectly equipped with a kitchen and a bathroom.
If I had to choose between the A and B he presented, my choice was A without question.
Even that was a luxurious enough space for me, but he, with a reluctant face and his hands thrust into his pants pockets, had paced around the epoxy floor, recommending several times that I reconsider the previous house.
Although it was a modest move that ended with one backpack and a couple of shopping bags, today was a gathering he had suggested, something akin to a housewarming party.
“It’s not like he’s choosing a lover, so what’s with all this talk about ‘a feeling’? When you first came to help, he was a bit standoffish, but he pretended to give in and let you do as you pleased. Ah… it would be easier to play matchmaker, I swear.”
While listening to Noona’s justified grumbling, I thought that his initial indifference toward me might have been on the friendly side. I could see now that if he hadn’t liked me in the end, he would never have hired me as an employee, especially with all the troublesome baggage I came with.
“The ones who have to work face-to-face with the new person are Kwon Juhan and me, anyway! I’m pushing through the person scheduled for an interview on Monday, no matter what.”
While Noona was steeling her resolve, the car pulled into the parking lot of his house.
After unanimously dissuading the driver who offered to help carry our things, we each took two grocery bags from the trunk.
It was his and the Chief’s opinion that it would be best for me to move around in the car driven by the chauffeur when I went out for the time being. Since I wasn’t going to work, I rarely had a reason to go out, but the driver still always waited in a guard post set up separately in the parking lot until he returned home. As someone on the receiving end of kindness and consideration, I couldn’t insist on my own discomfort, but it was true that it was awkward and burdensome.
“That driver, he’s definitely a bodyguard too, right? That… man who’s your sister’s father, is he that scary of a person?”
Walking down the hallway that connected to the studio, Noona lowered her voice and asked, even though the door had already closed behind us.
If she was asking whether Mr. Lim was the kind of person who could snatch me from my current life to find out Morae and Hyung’s location… then yes, Mr. Lim was ‘that’ scary of a person.
No matter how much I said that life here felt difficult to find stability in, that it felt like I was losing my sense of balance about my original self, it was nothing compared to being dragged back to the village by Mr. Lim and interrogated about Morae and Hyung’s whereabouts. I didn’t want to act like a side character in a Hollywood animation who just spouts moral platitudes without any ability to solve problems, only to cause trouble for those around them.
“Did Noona and Hyung arrive at their destination safely?”
Juhan-hyung, who had reached the door to the studio first, turned to look at me and asked. I shook my head and answered.
“They’re still on the move right now. I got an email yesterday saying they were in Calcutta.”
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