Chapter 44
He was as normal as ever, disconcertingly so, but it was true that his attitude helped me regain my balance.
It wasn’t a night spent together after a shy confession or a tender exchange of feelings. Like lancing a finger for someone with indigestion—though it was a bit more emotionally complicated than that—in any case, it was merely a special remedy for a special situation.
Even if I harbored some special feelings or curiosity toward him, that was entirely my own personal affair, and between the two of us, that event was becoming something akin to first aid. At the very least, I could tell that was what he wanted.
Sometimes, when I lay alone and retraced the events of that day, I would rub my ear, under the illusion that the heat of his breath was warming it. That was all that was left. That, and the lingering scent of the powerful fragrance that had enveloped my entire body from beginning to end that night.
Perhaps because of that thought, my shoulders flinched just now, even though I wasn’t lying alone in bed, just as they had when he’d whispered in my ear, telling me to say an obscene word. Flustered by my reaction in a small space with another person, I rubbed my flushed ear with my palm, and the phone resting on my lap vibrated.
I glanced down to see an unsaved number. I silenced the vibration and cast my eyes out the window again. The car we were in was still in front of the barbecue restaurant.
“Isn’t that your phone? You not gonna answer?”
Hyung asked, gesturing toward the phone with his chin.
“I… almost never answer unknown numbers.”
“Ah… because of the elopement?”
Hyung said playfully, lightly tapping the bottom of the steering wheel with his fist. Then he added.
“To be precise, is it an elopement plus Seo Yeehyeon?”
“……”
“I didn’t say it to make you feel bad. Don’t get down, man.”
I knew he didn’t mean it that way, so I wasn’t particularly down, but it was a fact that for the three of us’s trip to Seoul to be completed as Morae and Hyeong’s elopement, I had to make my exit.
“That thing, is it still not resolved? You still have to be careful?”
When I nodded bitterly, Hyung fiddled with his lip piercing and furrowed his brow.
“Most parents would forgive you by this point. Then again, I’m still in a cold war with my parents, too.”
Hyung mentioned his own pain lightly, but I couldn’t bring myself to smile back. I was simply quietly amazed at the fortitude of Hyung, who was enduring the situation in his own way and moving forward.
“The saying that no parent can win against their child has its limits, you know.”
Hyung added nonchalantly as he released the brake, following the car in front that had finally started to move. I agreed with that. For all parents, their child was not necessarily the top priority. There might be parents who drew strength from their child’s existence in extreme situations, and perhaps most parents were like that, but there were also parents in the world who couldn’t be.
I know it in my head. I’d even had the arrogant thought that I might be able to understand my father, even if I couldn’t accept him. But my reaction in his living room proved that was a complete delusion.
I know it’s not the right expression for this kind of situation, but the body was honest. The way my body reacted before the specter of the past, symbolized by that painting. It was proof that the past had not been sealed away as the past and was still dominating the present.
If just two more cars had moved, we would have had a gap to turn right, but we had to wait for the light one more time. This time, we stopped in front of a charming little bakery.
This neighborhood has lost all its old quietness, Juhan-Hyung remarked, his face no different than usual as he looked at the shops outside the window, but just because someone doesn’t complain about their wounds at every moment doesn’t necessarily mean they’ve overcome them. The wound of being rejected by one’s parents wouldn’t just disappear because you left home and no longer saw them.
After the light changed one more time and we made the right turn, it was a short drive to ‘What Happened in Bali.’ Hyung leaned his upper body over the steering wheel, peered intently at the old single-story building housing the café, and spoke.
“So this was it. It’s not even registered on the GPS, so I was wondering where it was.”
Saying she didn’t want the place to be filled with transient customers who only came to take a few pictures to update their social media, the owner hadn’t registered ‘What Happened in Bali’ on any portal sites.
“Hyeong, if you’re okay with it, would you like to come in for a bit? I can treat you to a drink.”
Hyung fiddled with his lip piercing for a moment as if contemplating, glancing toward the café.
“I’d like to, but… I have plans with some guys I used to be in a band with. I’ll come by with Baekyuni next time.”
“Yes, you definitely should. I’ll buy you a meal then, too. The nasi goreng is delicious.”
It was a narrow residential alley, so we couldn’t keep the car parked for long. As soon as I thanked him for the ride and got out of the car, Hyung drove out of the alley.
“Seo Yeehyeon!”
I turned to see Morae, hands tucked into the pockets of her apron, smiling in front of the café. It was the first time I’d seen her in almost a week.
“Who was that?”
Morae, who had come up beside me, asked, pointing at the rear of the car Juhan-Hyung was in. It wasn’t Hyeong’s car, but a corporate vehicle from Phantom. One they used for business or deliveries.
“A hyung I work with at the gallery.”
“He drove you all the way here? You should’ve told him to come in for a glass of punch or something.”
“I did, but… he said he had plans.”
“Make sure you come together next time. They’re people you work with, so you have to make a good impression.”
Morae bumped my shoulder with hers and grinned.
On the surface, it was peaceful, but as Juhan-Hyung had said, we were still in a position where we had to hide. I trusted the people of Phantom , but hearing Morae’s words, telling me to invite them to ‘What Happened in Bali’ without any suspicion, a flicker of anxiety crossed my mind. It occurred to me that perhaps she should be more on guard.
But I didn’t mention any of that anxiety. I just said I would and followed her into the café. The earlier call from the unknown number also weighed on my mind, but I didn’t bring that up either.
Everything will be fine. Even if someone tried to dig into my personal information, the quick-witted people of Phantom would handle it skillfully, and the call from the unknown number was probably a sales call for a water purifier, a cell phone, or a loan, or simply a wrong number. I suppressed my anxiety as if chanting a spell.
If I made up my mind and suggested it, Morae and Hyung could leave Seoul soon. I just needed a little, just a little more time. Until then, I hoped this precarious peace would hold up against the weight of my anxiety.
It was a Friday evening, so the café was almost full. The owner, who had returned from Bali in the meantime, also greeted me warmly from the kitchen with Hyeong. Perhaps the owner had bought it new in Bali, but another new board had been added to one of the café’s walls.
It felt like a demand letter, urging me to make my decision, so I pretended not to notice and stealthily turned my head, placing my bag down at my usual seat in front of the counter.
“We’re closing at 10 today, so just hang out. The owner brought back a lot of fun stuff from Bali, you know? I’ll show you.”
Morae, who had come back from taking an additional order, ruffled my hair and moved behind the bar to make drinks.
Juhan-Hyung had said Hyung and Noona were buying me a meal because I was sick, but I hadn’t even told Morae and Hyung about that day or about missing work for two days afterward. Today was a company dinner of sorts for ‘What Happened in Bali’ and a welcome party for the owner, and since it was a Friday, Morae and Hyung had invited me to see my face and have a meal together. There was no need to say things that would obviously make them worry, but I also wasn’t ready to speak about the shock of that day out loud yet.
The sketchbook I used like a doodle pad every time I came to the café had been replaced with a new one. Recalling the previous notebook, which had only a few pages left, I naturally thought of the memo about the surfing school written in it. It felt like another demand letter had been casually tossed onto my imaginary desk.
Shoving the imaginary demand letter into an imaginary desk drawer, I flipped through the new notebook to find a blank page. As is the case with all doodles, I didn’t have a plan for what to draw, but my hand moved unconsciously.
As always, cheerful yet leisurely music played on string instruments from a southern country filled the room, and the chatter of customers added to it, creating a moderate level of noise perfect for concentrating.
Without a preliminary sketch, I immediately completed the facial outline first, then drew a body fully dressed in not only a vest but also a shirt and pants. The long ears were those of a rabbit, but the lines of the face and the proportions of the body were human.
I was so engrossed in the ruffles of the shirt, which were like the whipped cream decorations on a cake, that I didn’t notice the phone was ringing at first. When I happened to shift my gaze slightly, the phone on the table was blinking. I had forgotten to switch it back to vibrate mode after setting it to silent in the car earlier.
Fortunately, it was a familiar number this time. It was Inwoo-hyeong.
The inside was a bit too loud to talk comfortably, so I grabbed my phone and stepped out into the alley in front of the café. I leaned my back against the utility pole next to the entrance as if hiding behind it and answered the call.
[Why didn’t you answer my call earlier?]
[Pardon?]
As soon as the call connected, Inwoo-Hyung started with a question.
[My phone battery died, and there was nowhere to charge it. I borrowed someone else’s phone to call, but you didn’t pick up.]
[Ah…]
So that was Inwoo-hyeong. A relieved laugh escaped me. Shoving a hand into my jeans pocket, I scraped the sole of my sneaker against the building’s ledge.
[I heard you were sick. I called because I wanted to see your face if you were feeling better.]
I wondered when the news had reached Inwoo-hyeong. I had received so much concern from those around me this whole week due to my absence that this kind of attention felt awkward and overwhelming.
[The Director told me to rest, so I took the days off… it was just a mild case of indigestion. Thank you for your concern.]
[If that cold-blooded man voluntarily told you to take two days off, it wasn’t just something mild… You didn’t go to the hospital, did you? I’m a doctor. I’ll give you a free check-up, so let’s meet up if you’re okay with it. Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.]
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