His tension was visible. The muscles in his face were rigid, his lips pressed tightly together.
“I already confessed that I have no choice but to devote myself to you, even if you don’t accept me… but I felt that words alone weren’t enough, so after much thought, what I came up with… is just this.”
“……”
He looked at Yeehyeon with eyes that seemed to apologize for how shabby his preparation was, but at the same time, with eyes that pleaded that this was his everything.
The tips of his fingers trembled as he opened the box.
Yeehyeon, still not fully grasping the situation, was more surprised by the fact that he was so nervous his hands were shaking than by the act he was about to perform.
As he opened the black leather box, which featured fine vertical stitching a fingernail’s width from the edge, a gold-colored border, invisible from the outside, wrapped around the three inner sides of the box. Another thin, square gold border was set around the cushion in the recessed center… and two identical rings were nestled side-by-side in the cushion.
The platinum rings, devoid of any decoration, had a very simple design, yet they possessed a heavy presence that was difficult to describe. Anyone could tell that they were not simple rings, but rings that served as proof of a heavy promise.
He himself was not one for flashy tastes, but more than that, Yeehyeon could vividly picture him agonizing over various rings, trying to match them to his own taste.
For now, the effort he must have put into choosing this was easier to imagine than the meaning the rings conveyed.
“There is a pair of rings here, but you don’t need to feel any responsibility or obligation for them.”
Contrary to his tense demeanor, his words flowed smoothly. Placing the box on his lap with the inside turned toward Yeehyeon so he could see the contents clearly, he caressed Yeehyeon’s left shoulder with his right hand.
“Right now… I’m not asking you to wear this ring with me. I’m asking you… for your permission to wear this ring, as a sign that I am yours, as proof of my promise.”
His hand slid down Yeehyeon’s arm and gently took hold of Yeehyeon’s hand, which had been resting lightly on the sofa.
Yeehyeon waited to understand the meaning of his words, that he wasn’t asking him to wear it together.
“Seo Yeehyeon.”
He took a noticeably deep breath.
“Not because I loved you too much… but because I loved you wrongly, I hurt you and made you lonely….”
“……”
“Even if I get to keep you by my side in the way I want, if that way becomes sorrow and pain for you, I now know all too well that in the end, it is only… sorrow and pain for myself as well.”
His hand, layered over the back of Yeehyeon’s, was hot.
“The hope you placed on me, with a resolve that risked your own body and life… could you permit me to protect it with everything I have?”
“……”
Deep inside, emotion was being heated. As if nailed in place, he couldn’t look away from his gaze.
Please accept the full weight of my sincerity. Whether you crush it or throw it away, I leave it all in your hands and will abide by your decision. His sincerity, crashing into him with the force of an entire life, made his body tremble instinctively before his mind could even process it.
Yeehyeon looked down at the two rings in the box.
When he had said that just being in a relationship wasn’t enough, when he had uttered the word proposal in this very spot. He had not expected this kind of proposal.
Until now, just the problem of accepting him again and the thoughts about Changing had been overwhelming. He hadn’t had the leisure to vaguely picture marriage, nor was his imagination particularly rich when it came to romance. Before he could even decide if he liked it or not, it was a new topic Yeehyeon had never even considered.
Liu had probably anticipated his situation.
And so, he must have deliberated on a method to ensure this proposal wouldn’t become another restraint or burden, another task that required an answer. And yet, he must have been thinking about this for a very long time… to find a way that could satisfy everything, a way to give his own resolve a clear form.
This was completely different from the talk of marriage he had blurted out in Chicago, out of the anxiety of not wanting to lose Yeehyeon.
Yeehyeon slowly raised his eyes and looked at him again. The gaze fixed on him was not speaking of a romantic sentiment lost in a fleeting, fiery emotion.
They were undisguised eyes, like those of a child who knows nothing of the world.
They were also the eyes of a mature man who, after shedding and shedding the overheated emotions of fear and anxiety, had obtained a final, even humble, truth, and now wished to be willingly bound to his partner.
“I know that rings like this have no binding power or legal effect. But that’s not how it is in the practical world. People who see this ring will realize that I’m already in a serious relationship, and that I love that person enough to want to show that I am his. To put it simply, the moment I wear this, I’m practically a married man.”
Gently shaking the hand he held, Liu deliberately joked with a smile, but he couldn’t relax Yeehyeon’s expression.
Unable to bear the weight of his sincerity, Yeehyeon bowed his head. He tightly gripped Liu’s fingers, which were layered over his own hand.
“Are you asking me… to have a half-marriage?”
“……”
“A strange marriage where I’m single… and A-Wei is mine?”
“Yes, a strange marriage like that. But what does it matter what the universal meaning of marriage is? We can change it into whatever form we need, and it’s not for anyone else to interfere with.”
The rings in his sight were an identical pair, but he was saying that he would be satisfied just by wearing one of them on his own ring finger.
Placing the box on the table, he gently lifted Yeehyeon’s chin. Thinking he would cry if he saw his face, Yeehyeon bit his lip and tried to pull his hand away… but he couldn’t refuse the two hands cupping his cheeks.
But, he thought that someday, he wanted to properly tell him that he didn’t actually dislike these moments… when no matter how he tried to act like an adult, he couldn’t help but become a child in front of him.
“You can go wherever you want to go, do what you want to do, and have the experiences you want. You don’t need to force yourself to think about your share of the ring to come to a conclusion. I hope you don’t. And someday, when the thought of wanting to wear this ring arises naturally within you….”
“……”
“Let’s get married then.”
Even if it was a story for the distant future, his voice trembled just from pronouncing the sentence proposing marriage.
The scent that had been wafting from the centerpiece—a simple, yet pure and abundant arrangement of faded, delicate pink Jana roses mixed with lavender, ranunculus, and eucalyptus—was, in an instant, completely overwhelmed by the appearance of another, more intense scent.
“Until then, my own marriage is enough for me.”
He was releasing his scent.
It wasn’t the pheromone of sexual arousal that he couldn’t help but react to when succumbing to Diamond Dust’s pheromones, but the pheromone of a Golden Alpha, one he had released by his own control.
Yeehyeon grabbed his wrists that were cupping his cheeks, pulled them down, and turned his head away.
“What is this? That’s too… Why, to that extent….”
He was about to say that it was too cruel to him, but he forced the words back, afraid the expression would sound as if he didn’t respect his sincerity.
His strange proposal, that he wanted to be bound but did not want to bind, was not an act to elicit pity, but his true heart.
By not placing a ring on his partner’s hand, but by grafting the mark of ownership onto his own finger, he was now… entrusting his entire life to Yeehyeon.
He moved closer, bent at the waist, and tilted his head to look up at Yeehyeon.
“If you hadn’t met me, you… wouldn’t have gone through the change, and could have lived as an ordinary Beta. Compared to the decision you made for me, this is nothing. In fact, right now… I’m asking you to make me happy with this ring. You’re the one at a disadvantage, you fool.”
A small laugh escaped at the absurd logic, but at the same time, tears fell.
He suddenly wondered why he had been trying to hold back his tears. Yeehyeon let them flow as they came. His face drew near and kissed away the tears that ran down his cheek, as if drinking them. Then he pulled him into an embrace, chest to chest, cheek to cheek, holding him tight.
“Yeehyeon, I love you.”
Mobilizing not only human emotion and reason, but also the instincts of an Alpha and a Ghost, even the core of my inner self, the instinct of my instinct, which I myself had denied and locked away….
“My everything loves you.”
They were words like blood and flesh, embroidering his heart rather than his hearing. Yeehyeon closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his back.
That his love is lower and less than my own. I will not let anyone say such a thing.
He curled his fingers and gripped his jacket tightly. Buried in the scent blooming from him, he closed his eyes. A change that he felt he had longed for since long ago, without even knowing it, was drawing near, from the near future into the present.
“I love you. And, I will love you.”
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