We rarely closed our eyes when we kissed.
I don’t know if most people actually close their eyes when they kiss, like in the images shown in the media. I also don’t know for what reason he doesn’t close his. I didn’t have a particular reason at first, either.
I was just curious what he was like while kissing, and as time went on, I didn’t close my eyes because I didn’t want to miss a single moment of him, even while we were kissing. It felt like a waste. I wanted to feel him completely, with not just my lips and tongue, but with every sense I could mobilize. I don’t care if that’s a lewd desire.
I’m in bed with someone I like, and who likes me… (that’s probably a high probability). So what if I’m a little lewd?
Perhaps his words telling me not to feel guilty had taken effect, as I even had a rather audacious thought for someone like me.
Even now, we were looking into each other’s eyes, tongues tangling, but now… I couldn’t help but be conscious of the phone in his left hand, which felt like the third protagonist on this bed.
But for some reason, my excitement and focus on the sex didn’t waver at all. Rather, the screen in front-facing camera mode, illuminating us, made my skin tense and honed my senses for feeling him to a finer edge.
“Hh… Heu, mm… Heu, heuk.”
Moaning at the supple caress of his tongue as it filled my mouth as if to block my breath, then scraped teasingly against the inside of my cheeks and the membrane behind my lips before pulling away, I suddenly tightened my throat and lowered my voice at the thought that even these sobs were being recorded in the video.
As if noticing my awareness, he smiled with just his lips and gave me a short peck. Then, lightly gripping the tip of my chin, he rubbed our lips together so their surfaces brushed and whispered.
“Look at the screen. At us kissing.”
Like a coward watching a horror movie through the gaps between their fingers, I cautiously turned my eyes.
When I stuck out my tongue in response to his courting gesture of rolling his tongue to lick up the back of mine, hng, mmm… ouhh. Mm. It was immediately swallowed by him and sucked on so hard it tingled.
On the screen, which he was adjusting with a sidelong glance while squeezing my tongue, another version of myself, even more vividly entangled with him than the real me who was kissing him, was in the middle of a deep kiss.
No, rather, the me on the screen appeared far more sexually prominent than the real me. The me I perceived myself to be still seemed hesitant and defensive… but the me on the screen looked blatant, bold, and as if I was enjoying the situation. Which one was real?
The sight of myself, moaning from deep in my throat as he sucked on my tongue with slack, hazy eyes, was more unfamiliar than a stranger I’d met for the first time today.
The red glisten of wet flesh, not yet fully swallowed, revealed between his lips and my teeth, was more intense than the first porn I had stumbled upon in my boyhood through a few unintentional clicks.
“Heuu, heuk. Mm. Eueuum… heum.”
As he pushed the phone a little further away, his face appeared on the screen alongside mine.
Instead of facing each other head-on as usual, we tilted our faces toward the phone, monitoring ourselves and each other on the screen in real-time, testing the stimulation through them.
Rubbing our lips together, deliberately rubbing our tongues outside our mouths, tangling them in a back-and-forth struggle… the entire process of a not-so-romantic kiss was laid bare, along with the blinking red dot at the top of the screen.
The figures on the screen were both the real me and him, and at the same time, like androids modeled after me and him. The initial shock that felt like a blow to my sense of self scattered far more easily than I’d expected, and in its wake, a human-like curiosity for one’s own android was sparked. Or perhaps, this is what it would feel like to see a mirror for the first time after more than 20 years of life.
It wasn’t just me. He, too, was showing a blatant interest in the new game he had proposed.
As he stirred the inside of my mouth with his tongue, checking my reaction through the screen, he gently stroked the back of my neck, pulled me closer, and repeatedly bit my lip lightly with his own.
“You can’t take your eyes off it. Who have you fallen for? Which one of the two? Huh?”
At his teasing words, spoken as if he found it cute, I looked away from the screen and pretended it wasn’t true, but just as watching someone eat a delicious meal on TV whets your appetite, I couldn’t deny that our lewd entanglement on the screen was stimulating my sexual desire.
Instead of pressing for an answer, he moved the hand that was around my neck down to caress my torso. Above, the kissing and filming continued. As I tilted my chin up to meet his lips burrowing into my nape, my eyes met with my own on the screen, and for some reason, my hips tensed.
He pushed the leg I had propped on his thigh, making me bend my knee. As I shifted my position to sit as he led, my posture slightly shrinking and hesitant, his hand slipped under my testicles as I sat with my knees up.
“Euu, heu….”
As I tilted my head back and leaned my upper body backward, the shift in my center of gravity exposed more of the space between my legs, and his fingers fiddled with the inside of my wet anus, which had been gently relaxed by the earlier penetration. He lowered his head and meticulously pressed here and there against the inner walls as if inspecting them, then deliberately rubbed the entrance with a suggestive nuance before pulling his fingers out and looking up at me.
Tiring. Ting. The first video ended, and the second recording began immediately. He touched the icon on the bottom right of the screen with his long thumb to change the camera’s direction. The phone, switched to the rear camera, was suddenly brought right up to my chest.
In the extreme close-up and shaky frame that seemed fit for an experimental indie film, my hardened nipple was perfectly visible even from my own point of view.
“Haeu, ha… heuu….”
Though nothing was touching my body, my moans were breathless as if I had received an intense caress. The arm propping me up on the sheet trembled, and my chest flinched. He was immersed in directing my nipple on the screen, changing the angle here and there with an expression so serious it looked almost exploratory.
“……”
His hand stopped, and his gaze slowly rose to meet mine because of my own hand, which had begun to caress the nipple on the screen.
The nipple, bunched up in a sensitive-looking reddish hue, was slightly swollen from the long caresses of the previous night. Using my middle finger, I repeatedly stroked the plumply raised flesh from bottom to top.
He gasped for breath, his broad, thick shoulders heaving like an angry man’s. Watching the nipple being bent and rounded through the screen, he moved the camera toward my armpit and lunged for my chest.
“Heut, heuk… heu, eup.”
His tongue overlapped my finger. Capturing the finger and tongue tangled together, caressing one small nipple, he had no qualms about being conscious of himself on the screen.
Looking down at the real him and the him on the screen alternately, I slyly pushed the finger that had been teasing his tongue by bending my nipple back and forth into his mouth. He glanced up at me, then opened his mouth wide and took in both my nipple and my fingertip at once. The strange sensation of my hardened nipple being rolled around in his mouth along with my finger made my back arch and my hips buck.
My insides, half-stirred and then left empty, kept twitching, wanting to be filled tightly again. Whether I wanted it or not, I could no longer reach a satisfying climax from the ejaculation of a penis alone.
“Euu, heuk… eu… eung.”
So much precum had leaked out that I wondered if any semen would even come out when I ejaculated. My penis was starting to hurt. How could he maintain an erection for so long and hold back his ejaculation? Was this also a sexual ability unique to Golden Alphas?
But I, a perfectly ordinary twenty-two-year-old Beta, now wanted to reach climax with his penis rubbing my insides. I wanted it so badly.
Sensing my animalistic desperation, he mumbled his lips to spit out my finger, then sucked hard on my nipple as if to crush it. While sucking, he flicked his tongue inside his mouth, rapidly scraping my nipple.
“Heueuk, heuk… Haht.”
I thrashed my calves as if stamping my feet, rounded my back, and pulled his head into an embrace. Just like that, his body came crashing down on me.
Unable to bear the lunging weight, I fell back onto the sheet and lifted my hips into the air. As he gnawed on my nipple more strongly, twisting his jaw this way and that, I frantically rubbed my erect penis against his chest.
“Euk. Geu… heu. Heuk.”
A moan like an exclamation, not forming proper words, spilled from my lips. Finally, he was entering me, a little urgently now. Because of the recent penetration, he was able to push his penis all the way in in about three thrusts.
“Haeu, heu… heueuk. Heu….”
Before I could even catch my breath from the pressure of the tightly packed penis, he began to move his hips. The moans that had seemed to be subsiding quickly turned into a shuddering breath reminiscent of intense sex.
He was now rolling his tongue outside his lips, touching my nipple, and capturing the entire, now redder areola, glistening with saliva, on screen along with his own face.
“Seo Yeehyeon….”
His eyes, looking up from my chest, had become hazy in the meantime. Pounding my insides with heavy thrusts of his hips, he moved up and kissed me, pulling away with a sticky sound.
“See, it’s pretty. I was right, wasn’t I?”
As if to prove his point, he turned my chin to make me look at the screen.
“Heut. Eueu, heuk….”
The sight of myself shaking violently from the force of his quickening thrusts was incomparably more lewd than the scene of him sucking my tongue as we kissed. All that was visible on the screen was a shaking, moaning face; it wasn’t even showing the point of connection where fluids were surely leaking out with a squelching sound around his penis. And yet, it evoked sex itself.
I wondered if all our previous sex had only been possible because I couldn’t see myself. The me on the screen was far more sexually deconstructed than I had imagined. I had always had sex with him thinking of myself as a little more… demure, more hesitant before pleasure, but I was mistaken.
Belatedly, I tried to hide the traces of sex overflowing on my face by covering my lips with the back of my hand, but I couldn’t tear my eyes from the screen.
“Even though I’m inside you right now… seeing you on the screen makes me want you.”
His excited breaths, piercing me rapidly, drowned out the sound of the rain and filled my hearing.
“And still, Seo Yeehyeon is… not sexy?”
He asked, thrusting his hips up sharply between each word, his question broken and punctuated. On the screen, we were overlapping and shaking. Whether it was because I was sexy… as he said, or because of the extraordinary stimulation of watching a relativized scene of my own sex on a screen, I felt I had to admit it now.
Unbelievably, I was getting turned on by watching myself.
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