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The two had planned to spend time at ‘The Hands’ until the Christmas countdown, then slip out of the party to watch the ‘White Eiffel’—the Eiffel Tower illuminated with white lights at 1 a.m.—from across the Seine, in front of the Musée d’Art Moderne de Paris.
However, the sedan that had come to pick them up in front of ‘The Hands’ did not continue down from Boulevard des Italiens toward Place de la Concorde. Instead, it turned left in the direction of Place Vendôme and entered Rue de la Paix. It wasn’t a major detour to pass the square and drive with the Tuileries Garden on their left.
But the sedan, slowing as it traced the edge of the octagonal Place Vendôme, came to a stop in front of a hotel.
“……”
Yeehyeon turned to look at Liu, who was sitting beside him on the left, but he only smiled without offering an explanation.
A doorman in a pale beige uniform coat opened the door. Yeehyeon confirmed Liu was getting out on the opposite side before slowly following. Liu, who had circled around the back of the car, held out his hand. Caught by surprise, Yeehyeon took it and entered the hotel.
In the opulent lobby, a large, elegant tree was lit up. It was a beautiful tree that captured the eye precisely because it was free of excessive ornamentation.
Since we left the party a little early, is he planning to have a glass of whiskey at the bar?
Yeehyeon thought as he watched Liu’s back, who was walking about a step ahead of him down a long, softly lit corridor. But contrary to his expectation, Liu passed both the restaurant and the bar. In a cramped elevator that could barely fit four adults, Liu took out a royal blue key card—the same color as the carpet in the corridor they had just passed.
He declined an employee’s offer for assistance, saying he was fine, and the doors closed. Once they were alone in the elevator, Yeehyeon finally gave the hand he was holding a gentle tug and asked.
“Are we… not going to see the Eiffel Tower?”
At Yeehyeon’s question, Liu lifted his head from where it had been leaning loosely against the wall and inclined his body toward him.
“Did you really want to see the White Eiffel together?”
His expression suggested it would be a big problem if that were the case.
Yeehyeon smiled and shook his head, but Liu’s face didn’t look completely relieved.
The sixth-floor corridor was filled with the same pleasant fragrance as the lobby corridor below. Walking down the carpeted hall, Yeehyeon recalled what had happened in Hong Kong. Both in a state of extreme arousal, they had waited, hands clasped tightly, for the elevator doors to open. The moment they entered his room, they had tangled together like mad, making a mess of the living room.
As he retraced the memory, which felt like it was from just a few days ago and yet also from a very long time ago, Liu stopped in front of a room marked with a name instead of a number and opened the door. He had probably come here earlier in the afternoon to check in beforehand.
Even for Yeehyeon, who had little to do with hotels, this was a place so famous that it was hard not to know of its existence after living in Paris for over a year; it was no exaggeration to call it one of the city’s many symbols. He even remembered being truly shocked when his colleagues told him the cost of a stay. But he didn’t want to make it seem like he was reducing Liu’s efforts to a mere matter of money by showing a burdened expression or a sorry gaze. He knew full well who this was for, and he didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
“Wow…”
He had resolved to show pure joy this time, but the moment he passed through another door beyond the entryway and stepped from a short hall into the living room, a gasp of admiration escaped him without any need for effort.
The space, based in ivory and furnished with pieces in a calm yet lively pale emerald, created the illusion of having stepped into a scene from the 18th century, when the building was erected.
Though he didn’t show it overtly, Liu seemed relieved by Yeehyeon’s reaction.
“Shall we go out to the terrace and look at the night view for a bit?”
“There’s a terrace, too?”
Liu, pulling the hand of a wide-eyed Yeehyeon, seemed even more excited than him.
“It looks right down onto Place Vendôme.”
A slight smile touched Yeehyeon’s lips at the sight of Liu’s flushed face. He was a man who had likely frequented such places enough to become numb to luxurious and beautiful spaces.
Passing the sofa set, Liu climbed two or three steps and pushed open the double doors leading to the terrace.
Liu had spoken as if they were just checking out the terrace since the room happened to have one, but that wasn’t it.
On the wide terrace, large enough to host a banquet for more than ten people, two tall outdoor heaters radiated red warmth. A plush, cream-colored sofa, tailored to the L-shape of the terrace, sat before a table adorned with an abundance of fresh flowers. Large candles in transparent wind guards flickered faintly in various spots around the terrace.
The sweet atmosphere, clearly prepared for a couple, made the back of Yeehyeon’s ears tingle for some reason.
“Did you… prepare this specially because it’s Christmas?”
“Don’t laugh. I feel like I’m going to die right now, too.”
He wrapped his arms around Yeehyeon’s waist from behind and buried his forehead in his shoulder. Because Liu shared in the awkwardness, Yeehyeon was able to relax a little. Liu was certainly more proactive in expressing his emotions than he was, but he wasn’t the type to enjoy this kind of romantic event himself.
“I know you’re not a big fan of things like this. So I tried to prepare the bare minimum, in my own way.”
Yeehyeon touched the cheek of the man whose chin was resting on his shoulder and shook his head.
“I know it’s for me. I’m not used to this, so it’s a little awkward… but that’s different from feeling burdened or disliking it. I’m not very reactive, am I?”
This time, Liu shook his head. And then, he kissed the deep hollow of his neck, a place only lovers could kiss.
“I don’t expect that. It doesn’t matter.”
“Thank you… It’s really beautiful.”
“……”
Liu was silent for a moment, his arms around Yeehyeon tightening gently, as if lost in thought.
“I hope you’ll still say that later.”
He had mumbled it quickly, like a thought to himself, so it wasn’t entirely clear, but Yeehyeon missed the chance to ask what he meant as Liu, saying he was dying of embarrassment and they should have some champagne, hurriedly pulled his hand toward the sofa.
Partly due to Paris’s mild temperature, and partly thanks to the heat from the two gas heaters, it didn’t feel particularly cold despite it being close to midnight.
After taking the first sip of champagne, Liu slipped a hand inside the collar of Yeehyeon’s coat, gently pushing it outward as he spoke.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you since I saw you at the gallery. The suit, it still looks good on you.”
The luxurious, slim-fit suit, which didn’t match his old, student-like coat, was a gift from Liu in Hong Kong, for him to wear to the party.
“It’s only been on rare occasions… but I’ve worn it well whenever there was an important event.”
Liu smiled at Yeehyeon’s words, but it wasn’t a bright smile.
Knowing that he spared nothing for him, that he wanted to give him his time, affection, and his entire life, including material things, Yeehyeon could guess at the self-reproach Liu must be feeling at that moment.
This was a man who felt cold for his bare hands without gloves, who felt guilty even for his single worn-out coat.
If this had been merely an attempt rooted in the snobbery of reducing all emotions to material value, his pained smile would not have made a corner of his heart ache like this.
“As you know… I thought you were an Omega from the very beginning.”
In the silence, where the only sound was the crackle of sparks from the heater meeting oxygen, Liu spoke quietly.
“I had clear evidence, so I couldn’t even believe you when you said you were a Beta. I thought you must have a reason for hiding it. But you really were a Beta, and yet I could clearly sense your pheromones… and they even grew stronger and more distinct over time. You were an incredible world I had never encountered before, a simultaneously threatening and irresistibly mysterious and fascinating unknown.”
Liu paused his story and turned to the side, a slightly playful look on his face.
“I’m not just talking about the pheromones… you know that, right?”
Yeehyeon fiddled with the long champagne flute on his thigh and gave a short laugh.
“When I realized I couldn’t control myself in front of your pheromones. The thought of losing the self I had been until then was terrifying and repulsive, but at the same time… I also felt a sense of relief that I could finally be liberated. The existence of someone I couldn’t defend against no matter how hard I tried… strangely, that was reassuring.”
Bending forward, he rested his arms on his knees and looked down at the lush bouquet of Jana roses on the table as he continued.
“The contradiction of hating being a Ghost, yet collecting cars named after ghosts, naming my gallery Phantom, and on the other hand, obsessing over that meaning… it’s probably something similar. Even if I want to reject it, even if it makes me lonely… in the end, that’s who I am.”
Then he picked up the glass he had set on the table and let about half of the bubbly, golden liquid flow into his mouth. When he looked back at Yeehyeon, Liu’s eyes were burning blue even in the faint light.
“You say your handling of your father’s affair was cowardly… and that might be true to some extent… but you were constantly tormented by that situation, you didn’t become numb to it. And in the end, you tried to change, and you did change. You faced the present as it was, without trying to make excuses… that your father hurt you first. How difficult that is… you have no idea how transparently and brightly your effort to silently pass through life at your own pace shines to me.”
Yeehyeon felt like he understood.
Just as he had tried to look at Alphas and Omegas, at the reality of becoming an Omega, without emotion and just as it was, Liu too was shedding his former impatience, setting aside his excessive emotions, and approaching him with only the truth that remained at the core.
“Your Changing was unequivocally wrong, Director.”
“……”
He could feel the tension in Liu as he flinched and leaned forward. Yeehyeon continued without rushing.
“After making that part clear, I thought about it. What if… you had told me about your identity and the possibility of Changing first.”
He could feel Liu’s desperate gaze on his profile, but Yeehyeon didn’t look back.
He had lived for more than twenty years without him, yet the year or so spent without him had been an extreme, every moment feeling like he couldn’t endure it any longer. It was all the more so because he knew that if he just called and said he wanted to see him right now, the pain would be immediately resolved.
But what he feared most was forgiving him and deciding their future based solely on the sentimental impulse of being in love.
“If my feelings of love hadn’t fully ripened, I might have gotten scared and run away. On the other hand, if my love had deepened… I might have resented you for bringing it up so late. Because it’s a past possibility that didn’t happen, I couldn’t be sure of anything. I could only conclude that I didn’t know.”
“……”
“What I felt after that… is that what’s important are the things to come. That the love A Wei gave me still remains within me. That we haven’t loved each other as much as we wanted, and that the hope of betting on this love still remains within me.”
Only then did Yeehyeon quietly turn his head to face him.
“The sincere feeling that quietly surfaced in my heart after the shock, confusion, and sadness subsided… was that.”
He loved him more than anything, but he wanted to convey to him that this was not a phenomenon that merely touched the surface of emotion to create ripples, but a love that shook the deep source itself, changing the very direction of the water’s path.
Liu’s gaze, as if he had stopped breathing, his emotions under extreme control, seemed no different from his own.
“I know you’re not someone who cares much about things like place or formality. But… for this moment, I wanted to be completely focused on just the two of us, without any interruptions, which is why I came here.”
Yeehyeon gave a small nod at Liu’s calm voice.
“And, more than anything else, I wanted to propose to you in a place that I was sure would last forever, or at least for a very long time.”
“……”
Yeehyeon’s eyes widened for a second, then narrowed as if doubting what he had heard. He fumbled to place the glass he was holding on the table.
“So that whenever we want to reminisce about this moment, we can always come back…”
Finishing his words, Liu reached into the inner pocket of his jacket and took out a small box, palm-sized. The flames of the pillar-shaped heaters flickered red across his face.
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