Even without having experienced it, I knew by instinct.
My stomach swelled, feeling as if all my organs were being pushed upward. Even though I pushed his tongue away, I still couldn’t breathe. I tried to gasp for air with my mouth wide open, but I only choked like someone who had forgotten how to breathe.
A pleasure that felt capable of destroying and transforming my very being, accompanied by a tingling pain like fine electricity running through my veins, drew closer, pounding through me like a sound effect foreshadowing an ominous turn of events.
It was a pleasure of a kind and from a direction I had never imagined—like a heavy rock repeatedly crushing my entire body, yet not entirely dull, as if an electric current flowed through the vessels to the very tips of my fingers and toes.
Saliva trickled from the corner of my mouth, and my dilated pupils searched for him in terror.
Following the command of instinct, he too, panting as he chased the feeling of climax and churned inside me, was completely gone.
Incomparable to when he had rubbed me inside with his fingers, the coercive insertion and withdrawal of his cock, which seemed to demand a change in my very existence, drove me at a rapid pace to the brink of climax.
Writhing in the pleasure of an orgasm that set my whole body boiling, I tried to push his shoulders away, but he grabbed my hands, interlaced our fingers, and pressed them down onto the sheet.
“Hngh, sob. Hah, ugh. Ugh!”
The moment I came, rubbing the back of my head against the sheet, a sensation as if something had exploded simultaneously struck my insides.
An alpha’s knot.
The semen, ejaculated with enough force to feel like it was battering my organs, was so voluminous that it leaked out even with the knot sealing me tightly from within. As I felt my inner walls become drenched and filled, I, too, spilled my own seed between our pressed-together lower bellies.
My moans were closer to sobs. No, perhaps I was actually sobbing. My whole body trembled, even while pinned firmly beneath him. I whispered that I was scared to him as he bit my lower lip and sucked on it frantically.
“It’s okay. I’m right here.”
Continuing to rock his hips to maintain the pleasure even after coming, he showered my entire face with kisses. He licked the corners of my eyes with particular care, and only then did I realize I had been crying. They weren’t tears from emotions like sadness or loneliness, but a physiological reaction; nevertheless, the moment I became aware of them, I felt a surge of emotion.
It’s okay. I’m right here. Was he really saying that to me? His eyes were still unfocused, as if submerged in the realm of instinct, but strangely, his words reassured me. I squeezed back, intertwining my fingers with his.
Breathing in the scent that vibrated so intensely it seemed to paralyze my sense of smell instead of air, we remained pressed together below, engrossed in a long kiss. By the time the terror that had assailed me at the moment of the knot had faded, he suddenly stopped all movement.
And he reached an arm down, fumbling with his hand at our point of connection.
I tried to pull his penis out quickly, but it still knotted. The lining of my rectum wouldn’t let me. No, maybe it was I who wasn’t letting him go.
I couldn’t tell which was true, but like a size 10 finger forced into a size 7 ring, he couldn’t get out of me.
His eyes, which had been languidly disassembled and adrift in a pleasure of a depth I couldn’t fathom, brought on by his alpha’s ejaculation, returned to reality and wavered coldly.
He tried to spread the entrance of my anus with his hands to forcibly pull his penis out.
Embarrassingly, even at the sensation of his thick cock scraping my inner walls as it withdrew, I twitched and felt a shiver of thrill.
While he, like a man possessed, lunged at me, spread my legs, and began scooping out the semen inside with his fingers, his still-unwilted cock twitched, demanding another round of stimulation, but that seemed to be the last thing on his mind.
“I’m sorry…. I’m so, so sorry.”
He repeated the apology over and over. At least twenty times. It was strange to see him, a man who seemed unflappable in any situation, react this way to the act of knotting and ejaculating into a beta.
Grabbing the wrist of his hand, which was completely unaware that this cleanup was unnecessary, I slowly sat up.
I, too, hadn’t fully escaped the afterglow of the orgasm that followed the long foreplay, but seeing his reaction, it seemed unlikely we could enjoy any after-play or look forward to the new excitement of a second round.
“Mr. Chairman, you’re… an alpha, right?”
“……”
It was a belated question, but since we had never discussed it directly, I asked it just to be sure.
“I’m definitely a beta. So… you don’t have to worry.”
“……”
“About pregnancy, or anything like that….”
He stared at me for a long time, his eyes vacant as if he had been robbed of everything. They were listless, empty, as if confronting the shabby, crude underside of life. For a moment, he, so large and solid, felt like an infinitely helpless and fragile boy… there was a certain clear sadness in his eyes.
“That’s right…. You’re a beta, Mr. Seo Yeehyeon.”
He finally murmured after a long pause. His eyes, as they looked at me, had settled into a calm that made it feel like a lie that we had been so heated just moments before.
He withdrew his hand from between my legs and rubbed his face with his palms several times.
“You’re probably… injured inside. As a beta, Mr. Seo Yeehyeon, you wouldn’t have been able to handle the knot.”
He worried about my condition, asking if I felt any tearing or scraping pain and saying I should go to the hospital right away, but for now, all I felt was a throbbing emptiness down there. And, though I couldn’t tell him honestly, the lingering tingle of pleasure was stronger. I felt no particular pain, contrary to his concerns; in fact, I felt as if I would be more at ease if he filled that hollow void again.
The shift in the situation—from whispering obscene words into each other’s ears at the peak of the most intense climax to, a moment later, discussing practical matters—made my body shrink, leaving me dazed. But I couldn’t bring myself to approach him, who seemed so shocked, and grab his hand to say I was fine and we should continue what we were doing.
Besides, as soon as his cock left my body, a wave of drowsiness washed over me along with a sense of lethargy. My energy was depleted, completely drained. It was the same symptom as last time.
I told him I would let him know how my body felt tomorrow, after everything had settled back into place. That for now, there was nothing out of the ordinary. I said it hoping to reassure him even a little, but while he nodded, his serious expression didn’t soften.
An exhausting sleepiness poured over me, making it impossible to persuade him further. Noticing the signs of drowsiness on my face, he pressed on my shoulders to make me lie down again. Saying we’d talk again tomorrow, he backed away for the time being, pulled the blanket out from under me to cover my naked body, and then lit a cigarette.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, he looked down at me while smoking slowly. I wanted to watch him a little longer and forced my eyelids to blink. I was reluctant to leave him alone in his troubled state, but the sleepiness pulled at me with an almost violent force.
A gaze that seemed shocked to have come to his senses and realized he had done something terrible to the person he had been passionately entangled with just moments before… a look so confused and complex, tinged with a slight fear of himself.
That was the last I saw of him before I closed my eyes.
○
It was the sound of a telephone ringing. The realization that it was a telephone, not my cell phone, made me conscious of where I was.
My mind woke before my eyes opened, but I had to lie on my stomach for a long time, groaning at the aching pain that wracked my entire body. All the while, the phone rang, waiting for me with persistence.
When I opened my eyes, I was alone in the bed, and the room, with its blackout curtains drawn, was completely dark, making it impossible to guess even the approximate time. I had to answer the phone first.
“Hello.”
I had cleared my throat several times while crawling on my elbows to the edge of the bed, but my voice was hoarse and cracked, a wretched sound.
The caller was a hotel employee. He said it would be good for me to get up, have a light meal, and then go back to sleep, and that… he had asked them to wake me up and make sure I ate something.
I considered whether I had an appetite, but not at all. Not only was my mouth dry and rough, but my stomach churned as if all my organs were out of place. Moreover… back there… there was still a heavy, full feeling, as if he were still inside me.
However, I couldn’t ignore his kindness, nor the awkward position the employee, tasked by him, might be in if I refused.
We had been having breakfast together in his living room every morning, so what happened with that, and we were definitely supposed to leave the hotel at 11, so what time was it now? Various questions complicated my thoughts, but I answered that I would.
As if expecting me to say that, the reply came back that the meal was almost ready in the living room, so I could just put on a robe and come out comfortably.
The call ended, but I remained lying on my stomach for a while, holding the receiver, dazed. It seemed that preparations for a meal had already been underway in the living room while I was asleep.
I put down the receiver and first checked the state of my body.
The more I woke up, the more distinct the discomfort became. Not just my organs, but every joint ached and throbbed as if they were dislocated. While my whole body felt heavy and sluggish, like when suffering from a severe flu, the entrance of my anus and the area inside it were particularly burning. It felt like an independent pulse was throbbing between my legs.
That vivid pain inevitably brought to mind last night’s lovemaking, his passion as he reached his knot and ejaculation by moving in and out of me, my face flushed with heat even though I was alone.
Clearing my throat with a dry cough, I got out of bed. The unfamiliar sensation of the traces of his climax, which he hadn’t managed to scoop out completely despite his efforts, trickling down my inner thigh made me stop in my tracks with a groan—Ugh…—and I hunched my shoulders, biting my lower lip.
Surprised by the feel of my lips, which were much plumper than usual, I touched them with my hand.
I had thought that lips swelling from a kiss, that kissing so much your lips swell, was something that only happened in porn videos or comics. But my lips were, to exaggerate slightly, swollen as if stung by a bee. Their tautness reminded me of his sucking and his kisses, which hadn’t seemed to leave my lips all night.
This was completely different from last time, when there had been no kissing or penetration, and thus nothing left on my body the next day. Every part of my body was evidence of last night.
Forced to wipe between my thighs with my hand to keep it from dripping onto the floor, I immediately headed for the bathroom. I had intended to go out to the living room quickly, but I didn’t think I could be present in a state where I hadn’t completely dealt with what was flowing out of me.
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