A wide, dressy silk black tie and a small, simple, and intellectual-looking black bow tie. Having chosen two ties with different characters, he held them up one by one against his shirt, looking in the mirror.
Then, after popping the collar of his shirt, he began to put on the bow tie, looking down at me with a slight smile.
“We were only apart for a few hours, but so much has changed for Seo Yeehyeon in that time. What other thoughts do you have that I don’t know about?”
I let out a small laugh at his tone and pressed my right palm with my thumb, as if massaging it. It was a gesture born of shyness. I was very clumsy when it came to verbalizing my private, organized thoughts or decisions, but his help had been so immense in getting me this far. He deserved to hear it. No, actually, I wanted to share it with him.
“The time I’ve spent not painting until now… it feels like such a waste.”
His hands, which had been putting his shirt collar back in place, slowed. Then he turned toward me and smiled softly.
“That’s the best motivation.”
I smiled back faintly at him, who had perfectly understood the meaning of my words.
“I’m not the type to be very clever… and for me, painting is like a language. I know that I have to use it consistently every day, as often as possible, so that it becomes ingrained in my body, not just my head.”
He stopped getting ready and leaned against the edge of the dresser, assuming a posture of someone about to listen intently.
“At the very least, I felt that I should devote the same amount of time to painting every day as an average office worker spends at their company.”
“……”
“Since I’m a full-time artist now.”
Thinking I was being too serious, I added the words with a light laugh to lessen their weight, and he showed a smile. But his eyes were complex. They were the eyes of someone lost in thought. Straightening up from his position against the dresser, he leaned his back against the antique-style, double-doored bathroom entrance opposite the bench where I sat and crossed his arms.
“It’s a project I’ve been thinking about for a long time…”
He wet his lips with his tongue as if his mouth was dry, then paused, massaging his left upper arm with his right hand while his arms were still crossed.
“I’m thinking of opening a US branch of Phantom.”
“……”
His tone was calm, and he was trying to speak nonchalantly as if it were no big deal, but he couldn’t completely hide his gravity or caution. I, too, was taken aback by the sudden news, my eyes widening at him and my shoulders tensing.
“Since New York is one of the most influential cities in the global art market… I think it will probably be there.”
He chewed on his lower lip as if hesitating.
“It’s not a simple matter, so I can’t put it into action right away, but I’m planning to push it forward as quickly as possible. If that happens… I’ll leave Seoul to Director Han… and probably… I’ll be the one looking after the branch.”
His words gradually slowed, and his gaze, which had been tilted diagonally toward the floor of the dressing room, turned to me.
“To be honest, I wanted Seo Yeehyeon’s debut itself to be in the US, and for you to start your career here. This exhibition is unofficial for a debut, but the gallerists, curators, and collectors attending the VIP party today and the opening event tomorrow are the most influential figures, so it’s no different from having a real debut.”
He had personally discussed with the host gallery to exhibit about ten of my paintings and works from other Phantom artists in a separate, smaller hall, apart from Shu shu’s exhibition.
He had said back in Seoul that Shu shu’s exhibition was the main event and the other ten or so works were just a side event, so I shouldn’t feel burdened.
But now he was saying it was no different from having a debut in front of globally influential art industry professionals… My mouth felt bone dry. I, who still hesitated to show my paintings even to those close to me… I felt like I could understand Shu shu, who was uncomfortable with media exposure and having her picture taken.
Noticing my tension, he came over and gently stroked my cheek.
“It’s just a test run since a good opportunity came up, so there’s no need to be so nervous. They’re people worth knowing, so just think of it as making an impression.”
I nodded within his hand, but my heart was pounding.
“I want you to work in the best environment and conditions, and to receive the recognition you deserve for it. Because that’s the most definite support I can give to Seo Yeehyeon as a gallerist, as a dealer.”
In his eyes and expression as he said this, stroking my lower lip with his thumb, I could feel the distinct firmness of a person who had already made a decision and steeled his resolve.
“It’s not a simple matter, so a concrete outline won’t emerge until next year at the earliest. But when I move to New York… will you come with me?”
“……”
It was difficult to know how to react. It was sudden, but if my feeling wasn’t wrong, if it wasn’t just my self-consciousness, it seemed like he was pushing himself for my sake. It might be true that opening an overseas branch was his long-held dream, but I got the feeling that he was rushing it because of me.
Looking down at me as I failed to answer easily, he narrowed his eyes. The hand that had been slowly tracing my lips moved away, accompanied by a tight, bitter smile he couldn’t hide.
“You don’t have to answer right away. Opening a branch overseas isn’t something that can be resolved in a month or two. You have plenty of time to think.”
Even as he said that, he seemed disappointed by my hesitation. But it wasn’t that I couldn’t answer because the decision was difficult, as he thought.
With Morae and Leehan gone, I had no lingering attachments to Korea or Seoul. My confession that I didn’t want to be apart from him wasn’t just empty sentimentality. If this was a decision he had made after careful consideration, I was ready to trust and support him.
But the impatience I sensed from him, his desire to rush the opening of the overseas branch, created a vague anxiety deep in my chest. Because he wasn’t the type of person to get anxious before an important task.
Perhaps that image, too, was a fantasy I had created about him with the limited information I had. Was it natural to be nervous after making a major decision, and was I feeling needlessly anxious?
Seeing my wandering thoughts, which must have been plain on my face, he forced the corners of his lips up. Then he returned to the dresser to finish getting ready, spritzing perfume on his shirt a few times. The heavy black bottle, designed with solid, straight lines, was one of the two or three fragrances he often used. The deep, heavy, and intense scent suited his presence.
“I’ve cleared my schedule for the last day, so let’s go sightseeing then, and visit the galleries we couldn’t go to today. It would be nice to go to the Art Institute of Chicago again, too. This is my third time in Chicago, but I’ve always come for work. There are a lot of places I haven’t been, so I’m looking forward to it.”
He raised the tone of his voice to change the mood as he chose a watch from the second drawer and fastened it around his wrist.
“I’m sorry for asking you to come with me and then leaving you alone here.”
I shook my head firmly at his back as he took a jacket from the closet and put it on.
“I’m fine, so please focus on the exhibition.”
Having finished getting ready, he turned to look at me with a smile. Then he slowly turned back around and walked toward me. At his perfect appearance, I unknowingly held my breath.
He cupped my cheeks and lifted my face slightly to make me look at him.
“You’re so understanding and thoughtful, I couldn’t ask for more… so why do I keep wanting to see a whiny Seo Yeehyeon?”
“……”
“A Seo Yeehyeon who would whine that he wishes I wouldn’t go to some party and would stay with him. That he wishes this was a trip for just the two of us, not a business trip. A Seo Yeehyeon who would cling to me and not let me go.”
His wishes were always so specific, and his face when he was joking was so serious it made me laugh. He, too, let out a small laugh along with me.
“Then again, the moment you start whining like that, you wouldn’t be Seo Yeehyeon anymore.”
I grasped his hands that were cupping my face and rubbed my cheek against his perfumed palm as I spoke.
“If I actually did that, you’d change your mind.”
He looked at me for a moment with an unreadable smile, then muttered as if to himself.
“……Would I, really?”
Looking up at him, who seemed bitter, as if he were the only one tormented by irrational emotional outbursts and childish desires, I thumped my forehead against his firm lower abdomen. With just a hint of resentment.
“If I start thinking like that, I won’t want to be apart from you even more… so I’m holding back, too.”
His hand stroking the back of my head made my stomach tingle. How much I was looking forward to our journey to Boston, just the two of us, after all the schedules were over. I thought about confessing such a childish side of me, but instead, I bit my lower lip once and lifted my head.
“Just remember this. I will always welcome the Seo Yeehyeon who doesn’t hold back.”
He bent down and pressed his lips to mine. A sweet sigh escaped at the regretful kiss that only brushed our lips lightly before pulling away. He ruffled my hair with a smile, checked his watch, and finally gathered a few belongings like his phone and cigarettes before leaving the dressing room.
“I’ll go straight there from the gallery, but Yuni will stop by the hotel because of Shu shu. You can go with Yuni.”
“Is Shu shu… not attending the after-party?”
At my question as I followed him toward the entrance, led by his hand, he paused and looked back.
“Um… the official event ends with the party at the gallery. The after-party is just a private gathering I’ve invited a few people to. Shu shu isn’t obligated to attend.”
Conversely, I had been excused from the party at the gallery but was scheduled to attend the smaller get-together afterward. He had given me the opportunity to exhibit my paintings overseas and said there were people he wanted to introduce me to, so I couldn’t refuse that as well.
In the hall in front of the entrance that split off into his bedroom, my bedroom, and the living space, he let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around my waist.
“When you come to the party, you’ll be nervous again and barely eat, so be sure to have dinner via room service before you come out. If you skip a meal, I’ll have them prepare everything all over again like before.”
The memory from Hong Kong, where he had them prepare both local and Western meals, made me chuckle.
“Choi In-woo also said it’s important not to skip meals. You’ll probably have to drink a little at the party, too. Oh, and make sure to take your medicine.”
The result of my check-up with In-woo hyung was, as expected, mild gastritis. He said it was likely stress-induced and that while it wasn’t serious now, I had to be careful it didn’t become chronic. Hyung had also recommended a few supplements, which I was taking with my medicine.
Saying I should take them for his effort’s sake, he always personally packed the daily medicine and supplements into a plastic case with compartments that could hold a week’s worth.
“You know I don’t cause trouble with things like that. I’ll be waiting for Shu shu.”
When I pushed his chest and smiled, telling him to get going, he feigned a disappointed expression and shrugged.
“You used to cling to me so much, telling me not to go to Shu shu.”
I pushed his back out the door, hiding my face as it flushed with heat at the embarrassing memory. Before he completely disappeared beyond the entrance connected to the private elevator, the impeccably dressed man spoke with a serious face through the crack of the open door.
“See you later. Don’t come looking too pretty.”
I shook my head and thought. You should take a look in the mirror before you say something like that, CEO.
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