My memory wasn’t wrong.
I had retraced the events of that night countless times, but I couldn’t find a single scene where our lips had met. It wasn’t that I had forgotten; a kiss simply hadn’t been part of that night’s acts.
I couldn’t understand what it meant that we had omitted a kiss, even as we had rubbed our naked lower bodies together to the point of climax.
“Because I didn’t want to steal a kiss from someone in a state of mental panic.”
His explanation was as if he had read my mind.
He sucked on my lower lip once more before letting go, then added.
“And I had a feeling it would be your first kiss.”
“……”
The thought that he considered me, at this age, an innocent who had never even kissed made me feel strangely sheepish, and I had the sudden urge to deny it, to say it wasn’t true. Even though his guess was correct.
But then, the thought that he had deliberately restrained himself from kissing me, even in that situation, out of consideration for it being my first kiss… his unexpected delicateness and self-control made me smile slightly, and I felt some of my tension ease.
Did he think that I had been saving my first kiss, treasuring it and attaching great meaning to it?
It wasn’t that I had set high standards and deliberately saved it, but it wasn’t as if I thought it was okay to just have it with anyone, any old way, either. If we had kissed that day, and I couldn’t remember it, I probably would have felt it was a waste.
Thinking of it that way, his judgment had been right. It couldn’t be called excessive or unnecessary consideration.
Gently caressing the nape of my neck as if massaging it, he lightly scraped the surface of my lip with his teeth.
“That night… how much of it do you remember?”
“……”
His attitude since that day—I had taken it as a silent message to pretend that night had never happened.
But for me, it was my first sexual experience with another person, a stimulus so close to a shock that it had even changed my mechanically dry masturbation patterns.
Remembering how I had masturbated to climax while recalling his lewd words that fanned my excitement and the strong touch of his hand stimulating my genitals, I couldn’t meet his eyes.
As I bit my lip and lowered my head, his lips followed. The moment I released my lip, tickled by his tongue licking the teeth marks, his lips sucked me in as if he had been waiting. The sensation of him mouthing and chewing on the flesh made my shoulders curl inward.
“Judging by your reaction… it seems you haven’t forgotten everything.”
At the end of his voice, tinged with laughter, he wet his lips with his tongue as if savoring a taste. Before I could say anything, my lips were swallowed again. Since the moment our lips first touched, he hadn’t moved away from my lips for more than ten seconds.
The density of his scent, breathed in at such close proximity, was immense. It was as if he were breathing the scent itself into me through his lips. That scent was now layering the memory of last time onto the stimulation of this moment. It seemed the scent itself had solidified into a sexual image for me.
The hand that had been stroking my nape caressed my shoulder and back, while his other hand undid the buttons of my jacket.
The hand that slipped inside my jacket fumbled over my chest on top of the smooth shirt. Finding my nipple with absolute ease, he pushed up the nub with his middle finger and pressed his lips to mine again. As he slowly rubbed our lips together, left and right, up and down, the inner membranes were exposed, and a soft moan escaped my lips at the deeper contact of our flesh rubbing together.
Beneath his middle finger, my nipple was being bent this way and that, growing harder and harder. The harder my nipple became, the more my body contracted, and a thirst to have him crush and suck on it more intensely grew. I grabbed his wrist, afraid of the craving, but this time he pinched the flesh with his index finger and thumb, twisting it to the point of pain. And yet, it wasn’t painful, but electrifying.
“Here. Do you remember how hard I sucked on this? You offered it to my mouth yourself.”
I bit my lower lip. My brow furrowed on its own and my back arched. But ridiculously, I wanted him not to stop this caress, this teasing.
Because I remembered it all—the pleasure that had made my whole body tremble when he had licked, sucked, and bit that place I had never even been conscious of myself.
His lips left mine and hovered by my ear, whispering low and slow.
“Ah… I want to suck it again.”
His voice, whispering as if playfully recalling the sweetness of a delicious food, yet clearly filled with desire, made me feel as if my blood vessels twitched and constricted. In an instant, ‘that feeling’ surged up powerfully. I felt like I would go crazy with the desire to have him take my nipple in his mouth, just like last time.
I let out a breath, clutching the lapels of his jacket as if clinging to him. Not missing the opening, his tongue pushed its way in. He pushed his tongue so deep it felt like my airway was blocked. My lower jaw fell open, and his flexible, wet piece of flesh stirred my entire mouth. It felt like I was drinking a liquid made of his scent.
His hand wrapped around my thigh. The touch that had been gently stroking me as if to soothe me became more viscous, sliding deeper inward. At the touch of his hand rubbing the inside of my warm skin, not just my upper body but everything below my waist was now flinching.
“Hh, heuk…”
It was hard to continue the kiss. I pulled my lips away as if to escape and buried my forehead in his shoulder. Embarrassingly, I was half-erect.
Having been deprived of my tongue he was sucking, he hugged my back as if to pat it and bent his head low to whisper.
“Shall we go to the hotel?”
Already enveloped in his scent, I tilted my head toward his neck. The scent, inhaled directly from his skin, was like a drug. I greedily took one deep breath after another.
Looking down at me, he let out a low curse and started to get up from his seat.
“Um…”
I urgently grabbed him and pulled. Changing his posture from standing, he sat back down next to me and, feigning a gesture of sweeping back his neatly styled hair, brought his lips right up to my ear as I kept my head down.
“What is it? I know you’re in a hurry, but we still have to change locations. I have no intention of stopping within the realm of what’s possible here, you know?”
“……”
It seemed easier to open the front of my shirt and show him my nipple right here than to confess with my own mouth that I was erect. I resented my own penis, which had become hard as a rock from just a kiss.
I lifted my head and looked at him. My eyes were surely hazy and swimming with desire and longing for him, but I had no choice but to hope he would notice my situation.
He looked slowly from my left eye to my right, then pressed his forehead against mine.
“Sorry. I was teasing you even though I knew. To be honest, I don’t have any composure to spare right now either… so there’s no need to be embarrassed.”
After making a call to have a car brought around, he had me take off my jacket. After draping the removed jacket over my arm to roughly cover my lower body, we stood up.
We squeezed our way out of the chaotic first-floor hall, where the jazz piano melody had since been replaced by a DJ’s dance track, and ran down the stairs, holding hands.
A different car from the one I had arrived in with my Noona and Hyung was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. As soon as I got in first and he climbed into the back seat after me, he lunged in for a kiss before the doorman had even fully closed the door.
As I took the weight of his shoulders and lips, I glanced at the front seat, and he cupped my cheek with his hand to make me focus on him. The moment the car started moving, a sliding blind was drawn across the window between the front and back seats.
The force of him turning his shoulders and pushing me toward the door meant my body couldn’t face forward, and I was half-lying with my back against the door. He, too, was inelegantly half-on top of the seat, pushing his way between my legs.
Like a boy who had just discovered another’s lips for the first time, he clung to mine. He pecked me countless times, bit me, pressed deep against me, and sucked and chewed on them. He rubbed his tongue on top of mine, lured my tongue out, and held it tight in his mouth.
This wasn’t the kind of kiss where you close your eyes and savor each other’s existence. We never took our eyes off each other the entire time.
He pulled the hem of my shirt out of my pants and slid his hand underneath. The feel of his hand on my bare skin made my hips jolt. I let out a moan and grabbed his shoulders. With our lips still pressed together, he took off his jacket and tossed it aside carelessly. Then he grabbed my arms, wrapped them around his neck, and lifted me onto his lap.
My already erect penis was pressed tightly against his body, and my whole body trembled. Shame and everything else forgotten, I hugged his neck tighter and pushed my groin against his lower abdomen, somewhat reassured by the hardness of his own erection I could feel below my testicles.
In our entangled position, we devoured each other’s clothed bodies and intertwined our tongues. With eyes languid with desire, we revealed our undisguised lust for each other. His scent, like music that created a sexy atmosphere or a hallucinogen that paralyzed reason, made me bold.
「If a Beta could detect an Alpha’s pheromones, we’d probably have run downstairs by now and be tangled up in the back seat of my car.」
Inwoo’s words came to mind.
Along with his statement that Alphas and Omegas could be drawn to each other for any reason, regardless of pheromones.
He was exactly right. He, a Golden Alpha, and I, a Beta, were boiling with lust for each other without any pheromones, unable to endure even the short time it took to get to the hotel room, tangled up in the back seat of a car.
“To have to hold back again until we get to the room. This is real hell.”
He muttered in despair, having confirmed we were entering the driveway to the hotel entrance. Even as he said it, his hand didn’t leave my ass.
“Sorry. Can you endure hell for another five, no, three minutes?”
He looked so serious as he said it that it made me laugh. I was surprised I could laugh even in this situation. I nodded.
With disheveled clothes and breathing, I held his hand and crossed the lobby. Fortunately, the elevator hall was empty on a late Sunday night. If we had run into a family with young children, I, with my erection hidden by my jacket, might have wanted the ground to swallow me whole.
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