“It’s crowded since it’s the weekend. Shall we head out for now?”
I took the cool iced Americano he handed me and slipped through the crowd of people. Unlike inside, the air outside the door was muggy.
When we came out of the gallery entrance, where the wall had been torn down to erase the boundary with the alley, a car was waiting about ten meters away. I felt awkward by myself at the situation where I never had to walk—being dropped off right in front of the entrance wherever we went, and having a car waiting right there on the way out—as I got into the car.
The car immediately left the alley and merged onto the road. It was dusk, so the heat had subsided somewhat compared to midday, but the people passing by outside the car window looked exhausted by the midsummer heat, fanning themselves with their hands or pointing the feeble breeze of portable fans at their faces.
“I feel like I haven’t even had a chance to feel the heat this year.”
“Hm?”
At my thoughtless words, he raised an eyebrow, showing interest.
“It was like that in Hong Kong… and not long after I came back, I moved into your house, so I’ve been traveling by car all the time… That’s why I feel like I haven’t really experienced summer.”
“You’re tending the garden, though. That must be hot.”
“That’s just me taking a little time for something I enjoy. If I complained about the heat from that… it would be too much of a fuss.”
With his permission, I had been looking after the garden lately. It was just a pastime, involving some light pruning, pulling weeds, and connecting a hose to water the plants, but the time spent facing nature, even in a garden designed by human hands, was a significant mood-lifter. The garden that Hyung and Noona had criticized as gloomy now showed signs of a person’s touch.
“…Do you feel suffocated?”
He asked in a low voice after a moment of silence. I shook my head vigorously.
“No, that’s not what I meant….”
I had no complaints about my current life; it was just something I’d said without thinking while looking out at the street. Seeing the guilt and anguish flash across his darkening face, I felt I had said the wrong thing.
He was the one taking care of everything for my safety, my comfort, and the free time I needed to focus on my painting, yet he made a pained expression whenever a topic like this came up.
The word ‘kindness’ couldn’t begin to cover it; if anything, I was the one living amidst his goodwill and consideration, feeling a sense of guilt that went beyond daily gratitude.
It was at times like this that the age gap between us felt particularly pronounced. Socially, economically, in terms of experience or wisdom… I was too lacking to be a source of support for him, and I grew impatient with the fact that I still didn’t have the ability to give him anything substantial in return. The paintings. I had to paint quickly. Because for now, that was probably the only thing I could do for him.
He stared at my face in silence, then let out a short sigh and gently took my hand.
“Just a little… just a little longer, please bear with it.”
“I’m not the type to enjoy wandering around or being active in the first place. You know that. And you take me out often… I really didn’t say it because I feel suffocated, so please don’t worry about it.”
Hoping he would smile again, I smiled first. He reached out, tucked my hair back, then gently pulled the nape of my neck and pressed his lips to my forehead. It was the first time in Seoul he had initiated skinship beyond holding hands in front of the driver.
I was conscious of it, but I didn’t want to push him away. His lips on my hair-covered forehead felt good, and I leaned my face quietly against his wrist, his hand still resting on my neck.
In the meantime, the car was slowing down, entering the destination’s entrance.
“This place is…”
It was the hotel where I had met my great-uncle with Hyung and Morae. Not too far from his house. Come to think of it, the gallery from before was also about a ten-minute drive from his house.
“You don’t seem to have much of an appetite lately, so I chose a place where we can have a simple bite and a drink. I promise I won’t stress you out today by telling you to eat this or that.”
The places he took me were all high-end restaurants that served expensive-looking dishes, so I couldn’t help but feel burdened, but I didn’t want to show it and ruin the mood of someone who had gone to the trouble of preparing this for me. My thoughts were complicated, but I smiled back at him as he tried to lighten the atmosphere.
It felt strange to enter the hotel lobby with him.
It was a place I had visited just two weeks ago, but the person with me, my emotions, the situation—so much had changed. Morae and Hyung were scheduled to arrive safely in Bali in a few days, and I hadn’t heard from my great-uncle since paying off the debt. While I couldn’t say everything was back in its rightful place, I no longer had to live in anxiety, with the constant feeling of being chased. It was all thanks to his help. So why was he apologizing to me…?
Even as we descended the wide staircase right in front of the main entrance, people coming up from the opposite direction glanced at him and whispered about him.
“It’s located in the hotel, but it’s a casual izakaya, so the atmosphere should be comfortable.”
He himself didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. Then again, he had probably lived his whole life under this kind of scrutiny; if he were still bothered by others’ attention every time, daily life would likely be impossible.
Just as he explained that even top-tier hotels in Seoul were now trying to revamp their image with trendy interiors and menus aimed at a younger clientele to increase their psychological accessibility, the atmosphere I felt as soon as we opened the door was ‘more’ friendly than I expected. At least, I didn’t feel the arrogant wall typical of hotel restaurants. Perhaps it was because being with him added to the sense of comfort.
“Mr. Liu, thank you for coming. We’ve been expecting you.”
An employee with an agreeable smile immediately approached and greeted him. Just like the many other restaurants I had visited with him, here too, he was classified as an important client, not a new, unfamiliar guest.
“The atmosphere is still great. This is my companion for today.”
“Welcome. I’m the manager here. Please feel free to let me know if you need anything. This way, please.”
When he replied in Korean to the greeting given in English, the manager, without flinching, immediately switched to Korean and exchanged greetings with me as well, his smile unwavering. It seemed he had probably used English on his previous visits.
The interior wasn’t very spacious. There were about ten counter seats where you could watch the chefs cook, and only five or six tables, making it rather cozy. But of course, the calm yet luxurious sensibility had a way of making me a little tense.
Our seats were at a table nestled cozily in the very back, under a slanted ceiling reminiscent of stairs leading to an attic. Since he had pre-ordered the chef’s recommended course when making the reservation, there was no need to choose from a menu. I had never tried sake, a Japanese rice wine, but on his recommendation, I ordered one that was said to be low in alcohol and easy to drink.
“Please skip the dish explanations today. We’d like to focus on our conversation.”
“Yes, we’ll prepare it that way.”
At his request, the staff member smiled in response and withdrew.
“You’re… most comfortable with English, aren’t you?”
After the employee left, I asked him, fiddling with a bleached-white wet towel.
“I suppose so. I received my formal education in English, and since English was the common language for both my parents, we had to use it for family conversations as well.”
“I thought it made sense that you were good at Cantonese since you grew up in Hong Kong… but I was surprised when I heard you’d never lived in Korea. Your Korean is so fluent, there’s no awkwardness at all…”
As if embarrassed by the compliment, he smiled, letting his gaze fall to the side. The dim, indirect lighting cast deep shadows on his face, making him look attractive in a way that was different from usual. I focused on his story, gazing at the shade cast by his long, thick eyelashes on his cheek.
“My mother and I always spoke Korean when it was just the two of us, and my parents actively socialized with their Korean friends, so I naturally became accustomed to it. They also continuously exposed me to Korean culture through various programs, so the culture itself wasn’t unfamiliar, which was a big factor…. Also… my mother had a large collection of Korean literature, so I was familiar with the written language, but I learned most of the vivid, spoken language from Korean friends I made at school.”
He paused for a moment, then shrugged and narrowed his brow.
“I made a few friends like Choi Inwoo. The kind of guys who teach you dirty words and curses first.”
I could somewhat imagine Inwoo-hyung and his school days, so I chuckled along with him before cautiously continuing. It seemed like a natural opportunity to ask, now that the topic had come up.
“Shushu… she went to the same school, right?”
He held back his answer, lifting his water glass to wet his lips before setting it down again. He didn’t take his eyes off me the entire time. A mischievous smile played on his lips. He even gave a rare, small cough.
“Hmm… why do I get the feeling you’re concerned about Shushu? Is it just my imagination?”
Now that we were in this kind of relationship, I felt I knew that his relationship with Shushu wasn’t the kind I had tormented myself imagining, but even so, she didn’t feel as comfortable as the people of Phantom or Inwoo-hyung. I was still conscious of Shushu. Knowing it wasn’t a particularly healthy or mature emotion, my face flushed as if a shameful secret had been exposed.
But he looked delighted as he bit his lower lip slightly and leaned closer toward me. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief.
“Be a little more jealous. Ask me what’s going on with Shushu. Ask if it’s more than just a relationship between a gallery owner and a gallery artist. Interrogate me, pry… and then, no matter how much I explain that it’s not like that, just pinch me and kick me indiscriminately….”
“I-I wouldn’t do that….”
The seats right next to us were still empty, though reserved, but I was conscious of the couple one table over. I glanced their way and hurriedly denied it in a hushed voice.
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