“No. You considered things I hadn’t even thought of… I’m very grateful.”
If he hadn’t been here, if I hadn’t met him, how would I have been able to handle this?
I wouldn’t have been able to. Morae, my brother, and I—we’re still socially powerless. The reality was that we had no real power to solve the problem.
Not all the problems were cleanly resolved, but escaping a crisis that could have easily spiraled into the worst-case scenario and advancing the situation this far was entirely thanks to his help.
“It’s just that… these were options I’d never considered… so I’m flustered. You didn’t do anything wrong, CEO….”
“I know.”
He stopped my difficult confession, which felt like I was reaching into my heart, stirring its contents, and pulling out the right words.
“I know full well that you’re grateful, so it’s okay to stop talking.”
“……”
Mustering the courage from his warm words, I looked up to meet his gaze, and his face was distorted. It was a very subtle crack, but a tangle of emotions—pity, empathy, and sympathy for the person before him, for me—wavered in his eyes.
I thought back to the old him, the one who had fixed me outside his boundaries, as someone who would just help with work for a while and then disappear.
At least one thing was certain.
In some form or another, I was now included within the scope of his kindness and concern. His eyes told me there was no need to doubt that.
Anything more special than that. To be the only one. To wish for such things… felt like sheer greed, literally, regardless of my place or station. I was already receiving help so great I couldn’t even begin to express my gratitude.
He, who had been staring at me silently from about two steps away, averted his gaze as if fleeing, his expression strained. He ran his fingers through his hair, styled a bit more casually for the holiday, messing it up nervously and muttering a curse under his breath. His profile looked somewhat anxious.
“What do you like? Alcohol? Shopping? Traveling? It doesn’t seem like any of those… How am I supposed to know?”
It occurred to me that perhaps his coming to the airport, bringing me to this house, and making a new proposal were all to comfort me after I’d sent Morae and Yeehan away.
“Or do you want to meet Baek Yuni and Kwon Juhan for a drink? They’d probably be better than me, anyway.”
He pulled out his phone as if to contact Noona and Hyung right away, and I grabbed his arm. Startled by my decisiveness as I clung to him, blocking his action, his eyes widened slightly as he looked back at me.
Unsure how to begin, I bit my lower lip, then surrendered, burying my forehead in the edge of his shoulder.
Through the relief I felt now that Morae and Yeehan had safely left the country, I was gradually realizing that I had been suffering from a deeper anxiety than I’d thought. The reassurance that they had left safely and I could now breathe a sigh of relief was followed closely by… an emptiness, as if a piece of my heart had been torn away.
If I had to console and soothe that emotion with someone, there was only one person I wanted it to be.
“……”
He, who had paused for a moment, put his phone back in his pocket.
His palm cupped my entire cheek. A gentle force lifted my head.
“Are you sad?”
His refined voice, unsuited for the word ‘sadness,’ was calm, unlike just a moment ago.
I had given up on naming the emotion, thinking it couldn’t be simply defined by the single word ‘sadness,’ but if I looked at it in the simplest way, it was sadness. The people I loved had gone far away, and I was sad.
As I always did, I had been pretending to accept the situation, not expressing anything, but I felt empty, lost, and already resentful of my life that would continue without them and their lives that would continue without me. To me, who had been just hovering, not daring to touch this emotion for fear of how to handle it, he gave me the chance to acknowledge my sadness.
His hand moved from my cheek to cup my ear, delving deeper. Even if it wasn’t ‘that scent,’ all of his scents were good.
“I think… I’m sad.”
I leaned my face gently against his hand on my cheek and corrected my answer.
“Yes, I’m sad.”
“I told you… if you want me, all you have to do is say it. That you can have me anytime. You fool….”
As if tossing the last word into the air, the moment he finished speaking, he lowered his head and pressed his lips deeply against mine. My waist was pulled in, and my chest was pressed tightly against his.
My lips parted under the force of his hand cupping the back of my head and pushing forward, and his tongue filled my mouth. The familiar ‘scent’ instantly dominated my nose and mouth, and at its entry, I exhaled sharply through my nose and wrapped my arms around his back, holding on tight.
Hugging me as if trying to pour precious medicine into me, he tilted his head and kissed me deeply.
The embrace, which constricted my waist and chest to the point of making it difficult to breathe, was almost a form of bondage. Feeling a sense of relief in the tight hold that left no gaps, I too squeezed his broad back with all my might.
Scraping the roof of my mouth with the tip of his tongue, his tongue hastily withdrew from inside me. Disappointed, I clutched his jacket and this time, I pushed my tongue toward his lips. My tongue was immediately swallowed.
“Ugh, mm… Nn.”
The inside of my throat vibrated from the strong suction that drew my tongue into its maximum length at once. His left arm, which had been wrapped around my waist, squeezed my butt over my jeans.
We didn’t close our eyes. Sucking and being sucked, our noses brushing at a close distance, we persistently searched each other’s eyes, which were rapidly growing wet with lust. As if that itself were another stimulant for arousal.
His strength, holding and kissing me to the point my ribs ached and my tongue tingled, as if forcing his own existence upon me, made my own existence clear. The fact that I was being perceived by someone as an object of desire, in turn, made me conscious of myself.
No, for today, I wasn’t just an object of sexual desire. This heat was clearly his way of offering comfort.
“Hah, ugh.”
Releasing the tongue he had been holding, sucking, and squeezing, he pushed my body against the wall behind me. A dull pain flared as my back hit it, and at that moment, his thick thigh pushed between my legs. It was an urgent and blatant pressing.
The more direct friction against my genitals momentarily blanked my mind, and my body felt like it was ascending. I moved my arms from under his armpits to his shoulders, pulling our bodies even closer.
Haaah, hh. Hhh.
Instantly aroused, he heaved his shoulders and breath, grabbing my butt with both hands and pulling me up onto his thigh.
Looking down at each other’s lips from under lowered eyelids, we stuck out our tongues and rubbed the tips together. The friction of wet flesh rubbing outside the body was different from a kiss inside the mouth. Even with no one watching, the rebellious pleasure of exposing something intimate to the outside sent a thrill through the tip of my tongue.
My heels lifted every time he pulled my butt up. The thigh rubbing between my legs was bunched up, harder than usual from the sudden explosion of lust. The same went for his shoulders and the chest pressed against mine. His body was so tense that the defined contours of his muscles were clearly palpable.
As if he were inside me, moving in and out. Mimicking that rhythm, he pulled me up and let me down repeatedly, and in between, he would shake his thigh to add an obscene stimulation between my legs.
“Ughhh, hh, heuk….”
Every time he shook me like that, the vibration of my body turned into a tremor in my breath, and he watched me with glazed eyes, appreciating the sight.
The way his eyes, which changed color from white to blue depending on the angle, seemed to be seeing ecstasy through me—even if it was just my delusion, it was a relief that I wasn’t the only one who was this hot, wanting his body heat.
I didn’t know what sexual appeal he found in plain old me, who obviously had no experience, no techniques that could be acquired through experience, and not even an ounce of innate seductiveness….
He glanced down and muttered.
“What should I do? Today… I can’t hold back already.”
As if to prove his words weren’t a lie, a glance down revealed the front of his pants was already bulging.
It’s a little strange to say this, but… his penis was often noticeable. When he twisted his body in a certain way, or changed the direction of his crossed legs, or stuck both hands in his pants pockets. Honestly, it asserted its presence so much that it was hard to ignore. Ever since sleeping with him, I had to struggle to force it out of my sight whenever that happened.
That penis of his was now jutting out so prominently that it looked constricted, pushing taut against the zipper of his pants. At my blatant stare, he kissed my forehead and laughed softly.
His lips moved hotly from my forehead to my eyelid, to my temple, before burying themselves by my ear and whispering.
“You reeeally like it, my thing.”
“Ngh….”
I wanted to deny it, but I also wanted to stop being a coward, leaving the role of heightening the mood solely to him while pretending I wasn’t part of it.
It was true that I had been looking at his penis, and it was also true that I had been anticipating something thrilling and slick to come from its volume, which was so pronounced it looked unnaturally like something had been stuffed in there.
Just as I had confessed in front of the full-length window in his room in Hong Kong, it was all true that I was instantly swept up in sexual arousal whenever I saw his penis. So I decided to stop denying it just because I was embarrassed.
He deliberately rubbed against me more, pushing his thigh deeper. The movement of his pelvis, swaying slowly from side to side, was utterly lewd.
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