He glanced back at me, perhaps finally understanding what I meant, but it was only for a fleeting moment, a gaze that brushed past. The door closed immediately, and I couldn’t hear whatever comment he made to Inwoo-hyung about it.
“Don’t take the CEO’s words to heart too much. He’s not the type to sugarcoat things when it comes to work. And he’s especially sensitive when it comes to Artist Shushu. Shushu is our star artist, you know. On a day like today, we have to be understanding.”
Perhaps Juhan-hyung also felt like he could breathe a little easier once everyone was gone. He let out a long, relieved sigh and placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it encouragingly as he spoke.
Was it really all because Shushu was the gallery’s star artist, and today’s event was his opening? Was everyone else accepting it as such, and was I the only one attaching a peculiar interpretation to it?
“Yes. And… it was actually quite satisfying when the artist said something on my behalf.”
Unlike my usual self, who would let things pass without saying what needed to be said, I added an unnecessary lie. In truth, Artist Shushu’s chiding of him, and his kindness toward me, had only made me feel all the more miserable.
Juhan-hyung moved the champagne flute Artist Shushu had left behind to the windowsill and drank the remaining half. It was time for us to tidy up and head up to the second floor.
“That’s just how he is. Maybe it’s because he grew up sheltered in a good family, but he seems completely oblivious to anything sordid. To put it simply, he’s nice, but a bit naive about the ways of the world. I think that’s why the CEO and the Director are even more protective of her. It’s unsettling to think he might go off somewhere and sign some strange contract if left to his own devices. On top of his fame as an artist, his looks attract a lot of weird flies.”
It was a convincing explanation. It wasn’t just his beautiful features, but the unique aura that enveloped her; to people who thought of everything in connection to business, he could be seen as an attractive tool.
“He looked like an actor.”
When I nodded in agreement, Juhan-hyung, who was standing by the shelf, spun around quickly. His face was flushed with color, as if he himself had been complimented.
“Right? I almost bowed down the first time I saw him in person. It’s not just about being handsome or pretty, there’s something… sublime about him.”
I chuckled at his exaggerated gesture, but the content of his words wasn’t much of an exaggeration. He was like the actors who played elves in a movie I once saw, a person who seemed to glow with a mysterious, gentle halo.
“They say there are no genetic differences besides reproductive functions, but I guess there really is a different kind of aura to them than Betas. It’s like he draws people in. No, not draws in, sucks them in. When you look at him, your mind goes hazy and you feel like you’re being bewitched.”
After speaking with his eyes narrowed, as if focusing on a point in the empty air, Hyung slapped my back, then lifted his chin and made an arrogant face, as if to say, now you finally get it.
“That’s a Golden Omega.”
Hyung might have said it as a joke, but to me, the words settled heavily in my heart. They seemed to speak of an immutable difference, decided even before birth, that could never be caught up to or surpassed.
That’s a Golden Omega.
○
“Just a few more shots.”
That was the third time hyung had said that, so I didn’t have much faith in his words.
It was awkward enough just wearing the form-fitting shorts that came slightly above my knees, but I also had a bit of makeup on my face and had to strike something resembling a pose in front of the camera.
“Don’t look at the camera. Try to look dreamy.”
“……”
The only visual records of me in any form were a few photos taken by surprise, saved on Morae’s phone. At least, that had been the case for the last few years. And he was telling someone like me to look dreamy. Unable to bear the mortification any longer, I covered my face with my hands.
“Ah, that’s good too!”
But even that moment was captured by Juhan-hyung’s camera.
“It’s okay, you’re doing great.”
Yuni-noona, who was holding a large reflector to shine on me, gave me a thumbs-up, but it wasn’t very encouraging.
I remembered coming here as a spectator and gofer. And at first, that’s exactly what I was. The reflector that noona was now holding at an almost acrobatic angle had been my responsibility just a moment ago.
All day, I had been moving clothes, shoes, and accessories that had been packed into the trunk and back seat of the commercial vehicle we borrowed from Phantom, moving branches or rocks that got in the way of the shoot, running small errands, and watching their passion—which, though I didn’t know much, seemed no less than that of professional photographers or models—with a complicated mix of admiration and jealousy.
The shoot, which had started in the morning, had been going on for about four or five hours, and as they finished shooting most of the outfits they had brought, the two of them came up with a wild idea. To use me as a model…
Even my most vehement refusals and rejections couldn’t stop their playful curiosity, or perhaps their curious playfulness.
The two of them escorted me to a room inside the house that they had been lent as a changing room, dotted artificial freckles on my skin, crudely spread orange shadow on my eyelids, and drew my eyebrows in a different shape than their natural one. They dressed me in form-fitting shorts I would never normally wear and had me put on Juhan-hyung’s clunky work boots.
Thankfully, the top was a long and boxy knit sweater. Though its intense orange color was hard to handle.
They stood me, stiff as a board, in a corner of the garden and took turns grabbing the camera, their artistic souls ablaze. But what could even the greatest photographer capture from a subject who found it awkward to even look at the camera lens?
“Haven’t seen this model before.”
As hyung had requested, I was trying to act out ‘a gaze that seems to stare at some nostalgic place in memory, not here,’ with my arms hanging limp and my head tilted to the side. I reflexively turned my head toward the sound, and this time, I truly wanted to cover my face.
I didn’t know how long he had been watching, but the CEO was leaning against the doorframe of the entrance, looking down this way and smiling.
I bit my lower lip to calm the feeling of fire spreading from the roots of my ears to my temples and cheeks. There was an artificial, unpleasant taste from the lipstick or lip gloss noona had applied.
“We scouted a rookie this time.”
Juhan-hyung turned around and chuckled.
Pretending to fix my hair, I hid my face with the long sleeve that almost covered the back of my hand. The scene of this ill-fitting model game was one thing, but I didn’t want him to see my reddened face.
“Yeah, the old ones were getting a little stale.”
He smirked as he descended the six or seven steps leading to the garden.
Because the days had gotten longer, the early summer sunlight was still intense in the garden at 4 p.m., making him frown. His expression relaxed a little as he entered the shade, and only then did our eyes properly meet. When I bowed my head, he acknowledged the greeting and slowly scanned me up and down. He seemed to be in a good mood.
“What do you think? Full of boyish charm, right?”
Juhan-hyung showed him the photos on the camera’s LCD screen, and I almost let out a strange scream. The heat in my face, which I had just managed to calm, felt like it was about to flare up again.
“Hmm, he’s not unphotogenic… but isn’t his body too stiff?”
“He’s an amateur. His face looks really plausible in the pictures, though. Well… Yeehyeon doesn’t have that ‘it’ factor.”
Hyung, who was looking down at the camera screen with his head next to the CEO’s, lifted only his eyes to give me a playful smile. Being photographed, and having those photos shown to someone, felt as uncomfortable as exposing my most private self, making my throat feel dry. But the CEO was being overly serious, even going back to look at the photos that had already passed.
“Still, that awkwardness is refreshing. Ah, this one has a good feel.”
After that, he looked up at me, standing awkwardly in front of a spirea bush with its heavy, drooping branches. His gaze, as unabashed as his way of speaking, drove me into a state of tension, but there was nothing I could do to escape it.
Just as I felt a sense of relief when his slanted gaze finally moved away, the next ordeal tightened its grip on me.
“Should I take a few shots?”
This time, I was sure I hadn’t hidden my flustered expression. Yuni-noona, who had leaned the reflector against a rock, came over and put an arm around my shoulder.
“It’s fine. The CEO is surprisingly good at taking pictures.”
That’s not the problem…
There wasn’t even a chance to resist. Whether it was being the subject in front of him or the producer pressing the shutter from behind, I was the only one in this garden who felt uncomfortable with the camera. Everyone else treated this as a game, so any refusal or resistance would probably seem like I was making a fuss.
The camera passed from Hyung’s hands to the CEO’s, and this time, Juhan-hyung held the reflector.
“Could you sit on the ground over here? With your legs stretched out. Yuni, can you set that on the floor?”
Gauging the light he wanted through the screen, he pointed to a mat that had been tossed carelessly on a prop box in the corner. Noona and hyung, who had clearly been tired from the long shoot, were re-energized and moved quickly as he requested.
I sat on the mat with an ethnic pattern reminiscent of Native American designs, stretching my legs out as he had asked.
“……”
Before I had even settled into a proper pose, his two feet abruptly entered my space. His closed-toe leather slippers were planted on the ground on either side of my knees.
“This is a test. Don’t mind me and just be comfortable.”
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