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The place where he opened his eyes was not his own room, with the sink across from the bed and the old desk placed before the two windows at his feet.
Yeehyeon blinked, taking in the scene before him. It took a moment to figure out where he was and how he had come to be lying here.
It seemed the day had fully broken, but the sky visible above the long, connected windows was still low and dark, just like yesterday. It didn’t seem to be snowing.
“Ah…”
When his sluggish consciousness finally remembered that he had reunited with him in the snow last night, his heart immediately started to pound as if he had returned to that moment. The events that followed also rose to the surface one after another.
The studio-style apartment near ‘The Hands’ where he had said he sometimes came to stay.
As his consciousness regained some of its function, the traces of last night left on his body drew a pained groan from him. Below his waist felt heavy. The inside of his ass, in particular, was sore as if bruised.
From being rubbed so much and pounded by the knot, there was a slight burning sensation, but despite having taken something so thick and hard and enjoying sex for so long, he wasn’t torn or injured anywhere. He now knew that this was generally almost impossible, and that it was due to the inexplicable interaction between a Ghost and a Diamond Dust.
As he snickered, thinking about how ignorant he had been in the past about the difference between Alphas and Betas, and about the sex that occurred between them, he then became aware of the body heat pressed close behind him and the sound of steady breathing.
Come to think of it, a heavy, limp arm was draped over his side, loosely holding his lower abdomen.
He had really come back. And before he had even received the painting.
No, should he say that it was he who had found his rightful place?
He lay still for a while, quietly feeling the weight of his arm and his peaceful breathing. A group of young children ran down the alley, laughing and chattering in excited voices. The snow had stopped, but a fair amount must have piled up overnight, and they were perhaps scouring the neighborhood for fresh, untouched snow to step on.
Listening to their cheerful voices fade into the distance, Yeehyeon carefully turned over. He wanted to see his face.
He himself had been wrapped up snugly in the sheet, and the man who was holding him was, in fact, naked. There was a limit to heating the air with a radiator. Since the windows took up almost an entire wall and they had slept without drawing the curtains last night, the air in the room was not very warm. Yet, he didn’t seem to feel the cold at all.
He wanted to share the sheet, but he was afraid he would needlessly wake the soundly sleeping man.
Although there were four generously sized pillows on the bed, they were amicably sharing one. He hadn’t been drinking, but parts of his memory were erased, and he couldn’t recall how they had ended up in bed. Seeing as the space between his legs and his inner thighs didn’t feel sticky, he must have showered, or the man had wiped him down with a wet towel… the latter was probably more likely.
His last clear memory was of himself, limp in the man’s arms without the strength to lift a single finger, listlessly taking the fourth or fifth insertion.
The man was lying on his side facing Yeehyeon, his arm bent under his temple, his lips pressed firmly together and his brow furrowed. It made him look weary. The area of his lower jaw, under his nose, and the upper part of his neck connecting to his chin was a wide expanse of bluish shadow.
Yeehyeon, who had been quietly gazing up at his face from a position where the man’s elbow gently brushed his bangs, managed to pull a hand out from above the sheet that was completely wrapped around his body. He carefully stroked the short stubble that had grown in overnight with his fingertips.
He didn’t even flinch, so he seemed to be in a deep sleep. After playing with the prickly texture for a long while, he subtly checked his expression. Unlike before, his thick, long eyelashes were now trembling faintly from time to time.
“You’re not sleeping, are you?”
Even though he had deliberately asked in a very small voice, he couldn’t hide his terribly hoarse voice.
“……Was I that obvious?”
Reflecting the long and rough lovemaking of the night, his voice was also completely thick with sleep.
When he smiled faintly at the serious-toned question asked with closed eyes, the man also smiled with his eyes still closed and pulled his shoulder to hug him tight.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“Thanks to someone for keeping me hot all night. Not at all.”
He asked cautiously, his nose touching the nape of the man’s neck, and he answered firmly, rubbing the end of the shoulder he was holding in a circle.
“Why aren’t you looking at me?”
“It’s a little… scary.”
“What is.”
Finding it fascinating that he would call something scary, Yeehyeon lifted his face from where it was buried in his neck and looked up at him with a smile.
“……”
He could guess what the man, who couldn’t readily answer, who had a strong, large body and more than enough power to protect himself economically and socially, was afraid of.
Afraid that a flicker of hesitation might cross his own eyes upon meeting those discolored ones, afraid that he would see himself waver with contempt or disgust for even a brief moment, he was cowering and hiding himself.
Yeehyeon rubbed his nose against the tip of his chin and said.
“We promised not to hide things.”
“……”
His dense eyelashes trembled. After a few blinks, the eyelids slowly lifted, and the one looking at him from beneath them was still Liu.
“Your lips are swollen again. The corners of your eyes are a little red, too.”
His hand fiddled with Yeehyeon’s lips and the corners of his eyes.
As if the days when they had fucked like crazy almost every day were just a few days ago, he used the word ‘again’ to erase the distance of the time that had passed.
“You can see all that?”
At Yeehyeon’s question, he laughed lowly, his shoulders shaking. Then he pulled him by the back and once again buried Yeehyeon’s face in his shoulder.
“Because you’re this close.”
Although he knew the reason he was avoiding eye contact was that he didn’t want to show his eyes, Yeehyeon gently pushed his chest away, lifted his chin, and looked up at his face. Then he took hold of his chin and pulled it down slightly.
Looking closely, the reason his eyes looked different was not because of his pupils, but because of a color change that had occurred in his irises. The pupils, made to not absorb light, were still black. But the irises, which had been bleached white for some inexplicable reason, had expanded abnormally, almost completely obscuring the black pupils.
Just as pupils react by constricting in bright places and dilating in dark places due to the movement of the iris muscle tissue, his pupils were severely distorted by the expanded irises. They did get a little bigger or smaller each time he blinked, but it was clear they were not in a normal state.
In the irises, where almost all of the usual blue color had disappeared, only a pale grayish color close to white remained. But the pattern of the iris, said to be different for every person, remained as it was, seeming to glitter at different angles, like a prism projecting light, or like exquisitely carved marble. It was by no means an artificial feeling, like a white Go stone. It was even less of a ghostly eeriness.
Yeehyeon cleared his throat a few times to smooth out his hoarse voice.
“I don’t know what other people would say if they saw them. But to my eyes… they’re so beautiful.”
“……”
“Don’t hide them. They’re pretty.”
“……”
“They’re like a snow globe.”
He was silent. He simply looked back at Yeehyeon with a complex expression, as if his throat was blocked by a happiness mixed with affection, deep emotion, and a faint sadness.
As if to prove his words that he wasn’t cold, a warm palm, radiating heat, came to cover his cheek. The large palm covered his entire cheek and slowly stroked through his hair past his ear.
“If you see me that way, then that’s enough. Whether the world calls me a Ghost, or has completely forgotten that a being like me even exists… it doesn’t matter anymore.”
As if there was nothing dramatic about it, as if he had made up his mind long ago, he spoke in a calm tone, then swept Yeehyeon’s bangs up and pressed his lips to his forehead for a long time. The hand gently stroking his hair felt languidly pleasant, and Yeehyeon quietly closed his eyes.
“My hair’s gotten long, hasn’t it?”
“…Hm?”
“Yuni-noona cut it for me sometimes, and I went to a salon, but still, it’s much longer than last year…”
Pausing his words, Yeehyeon lifted his chin to look up at him.
“By any chance, when was the last time you came here?”
This time, for a different reason, Liu couldn’t meet Yeehyeon’s eyes and averted his gaze. Then, as if resigned, he let out a sigh and confessed.
“Two weeks ago…?”
“If you saw me two weeks ago, you can’t really say my hair has gotten that long.”
He now understood the man’s vague reaction from a moment ago. Yeehyeon let out a chuckle and lowered his head again, offering his forehead to his lips.
“I couldn’t see you every time I came.”
The low, husky voice continued quietly.
“If I was lucky, I could catch a glimpse of you leaving or coming back, but there was a limit to how close I could get.”
“You mean you came all the way here… and sometimes just went back?”
He laughed lightly as if it were nothing and hugged Yeehyeon’s shoulders tightly.
“Even if I couldn’t see you, just knowing you were nearby was worth it.”
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