Side Story 28 (Complete)
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When he lifted his eyelids, his vision was blurrier than usual.
Recognizing that the hazy, foreign sensation was the result of last night’s Changing, Liu closed his eyes again and reached for the spot beside him. But his hand grasped nothing.
Liu sat up. His bare body, exposed from under the sheets, felt cool in the chill of the air conditioner running on sleep mode.
He, who had wanted to linger in bed a little longer, caressing Yeehyeon’s warm body, rubbed his face several times to chase away the sleep. Then, with a disgruntled expression, he propped his chin on his hand and looked at the empty space beside him.
“……”
As if its owner hadn’t been gone long, a piece of paper lay on the pillow, which hadn’t yet fully regained its shape. It was a page torn from a drawing notebook.
“I’ll be in the garden.
I was watching you sleep
and you were so handsome I had to draw you.
Better than ‘Mr. Rabbit,’ isn’t it?”
Flipping over the note, which seemed to have been written in large letters with a marker pen out of consideration for Liu’s eyes, he found a croquis of himself on the back, his features captured in bold, thick lines.
The emptiness in his chest from the disappointment of finding him gone was quickly forgotten. Liu chuckled as he got out of bed. He planned to make him pay for robbing him of the happiness of starting the morning together by smothering him in hugs and a barrage of kisses.
He took a quick shower with just water and went straight downstairs. The front door, directly visible from the stairs, was wide open. Unlike the air-conditioned bedroom, the air blowing in from outside was already quite hot and humid, even for the morning.
“Hmm…”
The desk clock he had checked before heading to the bathroom had shown it was well past 11, so it was quite late to call it morning. It was no wonder he’d slept in. Recalling their special lovemaking from the night before, which had lasted until dawn, Liu ran a hand through his undried hair and chuckled again.
As expected, Yeehyeon was watering the garden.
Putting his plan to punish him with kisses on hold for a moment, Liu leaned against the doorjamb of the front entrance.
For a while after Yeehyeon left, the garden had been neglected again. Then, he had grown to hate the sight of the space he had once watered and tended becoming desolate. He had tried watering it periodically and trimming the branches with pruning shears, but it never looked as vibrant as when Yeehyeon had cared for it.
Watching Yeehyeon’s back, who seemed more focused on creating rainbows with the aqua gun than on watering, Liu realized it wasn’t just a matter of gardening skills. He had probably known it subconsciously back then, too. He had just buried the thought, feeling he wouldn’t be able to bear it if he examined every single reason.
It was early summer, before the real heat had begun. The plump, green leaves and Yeehyeon’s back, shooting a rainbow with the aqua gun. From a distance of about ten meters, all the silhouettes were blurred and indistinct, but the freshness that emanated from the scene was as vivid as if it had been outlined with a marker pen.
He remembered himself, someday, before he had sent Yeehyeon away, watching this very scene from this very spot. The Liu of that time had been in no state to smile at the sight of Yeehyeon’s back. That was why this moment felt all the more special.
It was a scene he could watch forever.
He walked into that scene. The light was dazzling, but he didn’t want to put on sunglasses. It was a kind of privilege. Approaching with softened footsteps, Liu wrapped his arms tightly around Yeehyeon’s bare torso.
“I’m not ugly when I’m sleeping, am I? Draw me when I’m awake next time. I’m confident I can do better than Kwon Juhan.”
Yeehyeon laughed and stroked Liu’s arm.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Mhm. I slept well thanks to our workout in bed until dawn, but I was lone…”
Liu, who had been chattering with his chin resting on Yeehyeon’s shoulder while hugging him, suddenly trailed off. The only sound in the garden was the stream of water arcing through the air and falling onto the grass.
“Yeehyeon-ah…”
His voice trembled as he called Yeehyeon’s name. It felt as if he didn’t let out at least that name, the scent that had instantly seized his lungs would suffocate him. No, the scent was an illusion. Yeehyeon wasn’t releasing his pheromones.
Yeehyeon turned off the aqua gun and turned to face Liu. A few drops of residual water dripped from the nozzle before stopping completely.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you my decision in a well-ordered way… like A-wei did.”
He knew Yeehyeon was self-conscious about his awkwardness in expressing affection. But unlike Yeehyeon’s worries, Liu didn’t even register it as a flaw. Whispering ‘I love you’ every moment didn’t mean the love was deeper. Besides, Yeehyeon never stayed silent or mumbled when it came to the truly important things, the things that needed to be conveyed clearly.
On that snowy night street in Paris, Yeehyeon had clearly told him not to go. When Liu had come to him with his father’s painting, Yeehyeon had properly conveyed that it would have been unbearable if he had to see the painting alone, and that he was grateful he was there.
Above all, Yeehyeon had forgiven and accepted him again. It felt like there could be no greater love.
“But if I could be a little greedy… this ring itself is my heart, my love… so I hope it reaches A-wei.”
Forcing a smile onto his stiff face, Liu gently tapped Yeehyeon’s cheek.
“See? You’re someone who says what needs to be said and gets it over with.”
“……”
Yeehyeon tilted his head, his expression asking what he meant.
“It means… Seo Yeehyeon… you don’t need to change a thing, just as you are.”
“I don’t think that’s true…”
Even though he had already given him the greatest love imaginable, Yeehyeon was giving him something even greater. Not wanting to show his tears, Liu turned Yeehyeon around and hugged him from behind again. As he smiled, kissing the crown of his head, Yeehyeon asked.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Remembering what happened at our restaurant, a long time ago.”
“Ah…”
Catching on with just that simple hint, Yeehyeon burst out laughing after him.
In early spring, when new shoots had begun to sprout in the Parc des Buttes-Chaumont where they had walked together, the two had eaten at the restaurant in the hotel where Liu had proposed. It was for Yeehyeon’s birthday. It was lunchtime, and bright light poured through the restaurant’s greenhouse-like ceiling.
The next table seemed to be having a business lunch that doubled as a meeting. The tables weren’t particularly close, so he hadn’t paid much attention at first, but he had the feeling that one of the men kept glancing their way.
It turned out not to be just a feeling. When the man’s companion briefly left the table, he had approached them, his manner almost solemnly formal.
He said he had been searching for the ideal wedding ring for weeks. The wedding was less than a month away, but his partner was unwilling to compromise on the ring.
The man’s desperate gaze had fallen to Liu’s left hand. Then, he had asked, very cautiously, if he could know the brand and model name of the ring.
Liu and Yeehyeon had looked at each other. The man seemed to interpret Liu’s hesitation to answer immediately as discomfort.
He apologized several times, saying he knew it was incredibly rude to ask for information about a wedding ring of all things, but he was just so desperate that he had committed the offense.
“No, it’s not really that…”
There had been a few episodes because of the ring, but this was a first.
Liu, trailing off, had slyly taken Yeehyeon’s left hand, which was resting on the table, and asked.
“What do you think? Is it okay if I tell him?”
The man couldn’t hide his bewilderment and had blatantly looked back and forth between Liu’s hand and Yeehyeon’s. It must have been an involuntary reaction from sheer surprise. Since only one of them was wearing a ring, it was understandable that he hadn’t expected the person sitting opposite Liu to be his partner. It made sense.
“I wonder if that man ever managed to get this ring.”
“Mm, who knows.”
Liu rubbed his lips against the crown of Yeehyeon’s head and answered noncommittally. He was talking and laughing about old memories to keep from showing tears if he let his guard down, but he was incapable of proper thought.
Yeehyeon, who had been leaning his back against Liu’s chest for a while, gazing up at the oak tree as if deep in thought, spoke quietly.
“The diary… did you read it to the end, A-wei?”
Liu answered after a brief pause.
“The me of back then had to grasp at straws. I read it over and over, thinking I might find a clue to undo things. There was no antidote like the one I was looking for, though.”
“I wonder if he and Erich met in Florence.”
“……”
Liu swept Yeehyeon’s bangs back with his left hand. Then, pressing on his forehead to tilt his head back slightly, he planted a kiss on it like a stamp.
“Who knows…”
Yeehyeon straightened up from where he was leaning and turned around, lightly jabbing Liu in the side with his elbow. His face was full of laughter.
“Is your answer to every question ‘who knows’?”
“Try asking me if I love you.”
Liu puffed out his chest with a confident expression. Yeehyeon laughed, shrugging as if in disbelief.
Whoever it was that had planted the identity of a Ghost, which he had never wanted, in him had, ironically, hidden Diamond Dust somewhere in this vast universe. At one time, Liu, left alone in this house, had resented that someone as much as he resented himself. But if Yeehyeon had forgiven him, then he, too, had to show that someone tolerance.
Yeehyeon suddenly came closer. It was a distance where his face was clearly visible.
“Kun.”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
“……”
Liu let his hands hang limply, stunned. Looking shy, Yeehyeon tilted his head and smiled. A sweet pain spread from the spot on his chest where Yeehyeon had jabbed him. It was a scene he could watch forever.
End of Diamond Dust Side Story.
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