In the awkward silence, Liu opened the wine, and Yeehyeon put a pot of water on to boil the gnocchi dough. Liu, who had been stealing glances at Yeehyeon, nonchalantly approached the induction cooktop where he stood. Then, as he put the opener away in a drawer, he tossed out a comment as if it were nothing.
“I was just taking my medicine, Yeehyeon.”
“…I know.”
After closing the drawer, he placed a hand on Yeehyeon’s shoulder and drew closer from behind. The rounded shell of Yeehyeon’s ear brushed against his lips. Liu added in a whisper.
“Not masturbating.”
“Ugh, seriously…!”
Yeehyeon’s reddened face whipped around to look at Liu. Pressing a hand to his left ear where Liu had whispered, Yeehyeon’s eyes were full of resentment. Liu poked his cheek with a finger and grinned.
“Are you still that embarrassed just from seeing me take my birth control pills?”
“I’m not embarrassed. I was just… surprised.”
Yeehyeon turned his head and tried to move away. Liu pulled him by the arm, embracing him lightly from behind.
“But once we get started, Seo Yeehyeon is no joke, is he?”
“That’s because of the pheromones!”
“Ah… so you can’t help it because of the pheromones.”
“That’s right. You know what happens when you’re exposed to pheromones, Kun.”
“And here I thought it was because you love me so much that you get so lewd.”
“……”
The way Seo Yeehyeon couldn’t deny it was unbearably lovely.
The body that had been struggling to escape his embrace grew still. Looking down at the flushed cheeks and earlobes, Liu was simply delighted. But Yeehyeon, who had been biting his lower lip, mumbled quietly, almost resentfully.
“Liu, you too…”
“Hm?”
“You’re embarrassed right now, too.”
“I am.”
“……”
This time, a dumbfounded expression, at a loss for words, looked up at Liu. Why is he admitting it so readily? That was the look on his face.
Letting go of Yeehyeon’s waist, Liu walked over to the counter. He needlessly fiddled with the persimmons Yeehyeon had washed and piled up, even though he wasn’t going to eat them. Then he laid his true feelings bare.
“I guess I still want to be the perfect man in front of you.”
“……”
There was no reaction. Anxious, he turned to look at Yeehyeon. He was frowning, as if he didn’t quite understand what Liu meant. Liu looked at him for a moment, then, deciding to speak his heart, let out a soft sigh.
“When the mood is right and we go to the bedroom, I want to show you only the perfectly prepared result. I don’t want you to see me getting ready for it.”
He felt like an adolescent boy, insecure about dating. But even this feeling wasn’t unpleasant. The desire to be a perfect man for Yeehyeon was sincere, but the desire not to treat him with mere technique was an even greater truth.
Yeehyeon’s lips twitched upon hearing the confession. It seemed he wanted to laugh but was holding back, worried he might hurt Liu’s feelings. Yeehyeon came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Liu’s waist, hugging him. The situation was now the reverse of a moment ago.
“Something like that could never make you seem pathetic, Kun.”
“You don’t think I’m just a guy with nothing but sex on his mind?”
“Since you were honest, A-Wei, shall I tell you one thing, too?”
“……”
“If you acted like it was fine not to be with me, I think I’d hate that more.”
“Ah…”
A sound like a gasp of admiration escaped Liu’s lips. The remark from his lover, ten years his junior and still shy about sex, was nothing short of a shock.
“It’s not because you have nothing but that on your mind, it’s because you’re preparing for me. That’s why you’re perfect, A-Wei.”
Liu tried to turn around. But Yeehyeon tightened his hold on his waist. The next moment, Yeehyeon’s forehead dropped onto Liu’s shoulder with a thud.
“Don’t look at me right now.”
“But I want to. Can’t I?”
“If you look now, I’ll never be honest with you again.”
That won’t do. Absolutely not. Liu obediently shut his mouth.
He stood there for a while with Yeehyeon clinging to his back. The scent of chrysanthemums wafted from the vase on the counter, and outside the window, the maple tree in the courtyard was visible.
“The maples at your place in Seoul must have turned color by now, A-Wei.”
“They have. It’ll be a riot of red and gold when we get back.”
The last day of their trip. This moment felt like the last piece of chocolate.
Liu stroked Yeehyeon’s arms, which were wrapped around his waist. They looked at the same scenery together.
Marry me, so we can make this moment last forever. He felt a strong impulse to say it. But Liu, where Yeehyeon couldn’t see, simply gave a vague smile.
■ ■ ■
“Wow… this looks pretty decent, doesn’t it?”
“It looks even better in the photo.”
“Let me see.”
Yeehyeon showed the phone screen to Liu. The dinner table in the photo, lit by a couple of candles instead of lights and decorated with the gifted chrysanthemums, looked quite romantic.
“Whoever took it is a good photographer.”
“It looks just like a restaurant.”
Yeehyeon gazed at the screen with a proud expression, and Liu, standing close beside him, watched his profile. Sensing the gaze, Yeehyeon looked up at Liu. Their eyes met at such a close distance that Liu felt an almost reflexive urge to kiss him. But even to himself, his displays of affection felt too frequent. He decided to be content with a short smile and ruffling Yeehyeon’s hair.
“Don’t you think we’ve both gotten a lot better at cooking during this trip?”
“Other people would laugh if you call making gnocchi and steak ‘cooking.’”
“What other people?”
“People who are actually good at cooking, like Ben or Jun.”
“Ah… Jun. You mean the Jun who had a crush on Seo Yeehyeon and even made him beef bourguignon.”
The conversation continued without a pause as they sat down across from each other at the table.
“Don’t be like that when you’re not even really jealous.”
“Not really jealous?”
“You’re just kidding. The thing with Jun is all in the past now…”
“……”
“Wasn’t… it?”
Seeing Liu’s sullen expression, Yeehyeon’s words gradually trailed off, the end of his sentence changing. While Liu poured wine into Yeehyeon’s glass first, the corners of his mouth remained firm.
“That was a really long time ago. And you and Jun get along fine now, A-Wei.”
“I do? With that guy? Get along fine?”
Liu’s eyes widened as he pointed a finger at his own chest.
“When you get together with the people from ‘The Hands,’ you two seem to talk just fine…”
“Well, I’m much older, so it wouldn’t look good to keep ignoring him. I’m just being sociable for the sake of your reputation.”
After filling his own glass, Liu set the bottle down on the edge of the table. Then he added in a tone full of conviction.
“He still likes you. There’s no way I can be friendly with him.”
“To say he still likes me is a bit…”
“Even though he still puts his guard up around me, but the moment you say a word, he becomes perfectly docile?”
“That’s just him looking up to me like an older brother…”
“……”
Once again, Yeehyeon’s words slowed to a halt. He had been confused about whether Liu was joking or being serious, but seeing his expression harden, he felt he knew the answer.
Yeehyeon lifted his glass and smiled brightly.
“Shall we have a toast?”
Faced with that clear, simple smile, like an ink wash painting, Liu couldn’t help but smile back.
When did he learn to change the subject and slip away like this?
Yeehyeon’s skill in handling Liu was improving day by day. And Liu, even knowing his intentions, found nothing but pleasure in being won over by him.
As Liu’s smile continued even after they clinked their glasses, Yeehyeon glanced at him with an anxious look.
“What is it?”
“What’s what?”
“That smile you have right now, Kun, that’s a meaningful smile. What’s going on?”
“I was just thinking that Seo Yeehyeon has truly become an adult.”
“I was an adult when I first met you, A-Wei.”
Yeehyeon’s reply as he set down his wine glass sounded somewhat sulky. He looked like a newly-turned twenty-year-old, pouting because he wasn’t being treated like a grown-up.
A pouting, grumbling Seo Yeehyeon. It was a sight he could never have imagined back when they first met, when Yeehyeon was twenty-one.
“No. The Seo Yeehyeon back then was more of a legal adult than a true adult.”
“Are you saying I was immature?”
“Of course not. Was there ever a time when Seo Yeehyeon was immature? I bet you were poised even when you were five or six.”
“Then what?”
Liu gazed intently at Yeehyeon’s curious face. Then he raised his glass to his lips again, lowered his gaze as if it were nothing, and said.
“I was just thinking you’ve learned how to handle me.”
“……”
“At first, you were like a boy who knew nothing of dating or love. But now you have me wrapped around your finger.”
“Right. Because you have more experience than me, A-Wei, and you already knew all about dating and love.”
The sight of Yeehyeon speaking in a resentful tone was also a rare one. Liu leaned far over the table, his eyes shining.
“Are you jealous? Is Seo Yeehyeon jealous of my past?”
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