“Mmm….”
To the point he momentarily forgot that Yeehyeon was sick, Liu was completely engrossed in the kiss. That red world, filled with a heat hotter than usual, felt so ecstatically good he didn’t want to escape. He relentlessly chased Yeehyeon’s tongue as it flinched and retreated, pushing the tip of his own tongue underneath it. Not missing the moment Yeehyeon’s tongue was forced onto his, he then sucked it into his own mouth.
“Hngh, ungh… hhh….”
As his tongue was being sucked, Yeehyeon let out a pleading moan from deep in his throat.
With a desire for Yeehyeon as intense as what he felt in that moment, Liu gripped his shoulders tightly and pulled him closer. It was with enough force that his nails turned white and the veins on the back of his hand, below his watch, stood out even more blue. He gently squeezed Yeehyeon’s hot tongue between his own tongue and the roof of his mouth, licking it upwards, before finally sucking on it so hard it tingled. For someone who was sick, it was a rather excessively deep kiss.
“Hhh, hht… ahem.”
Around the time Yeehyeon’s breathing grew ragged, Liu eased the pressure on his tongue. Even so, he continued to hold him in his arms, watching him as he carried on with shallow kisses. Until his panting, wheezing breaths had completely subsided.
And then, pressing their foreheads together, he spoke in a slightly apologetic voice.
“Was that a bit much?”
“A bit?”
“Why? Did you think your pheromones were going to leak?”
“……”
Yeehyeon couldn’t answer.
His lips, which had been dry, were now moist from the deep kiss just moments before. Pressing the back of his hand to his lips, Yeehyeon glared resentfully at Liu.
Liu’s switch had been flipped a little, too. To the point that he wanted to deliberately release his pheromones and stimulate Yeehyeon. But this wasn’t a situation where he could take responsibility until the end. If he prodded him any more in this half-assed way, he felt like this time, he would truly earn Yeehyeon’s resentment.
Glancing sideways at Yeehyeon drinking his coffee, Liu also brought the mug to his lips.
“Sorry. I can’t hold back when you’re wearing my clothes.”
“Isn’t that, like, a weird fetish?”
“A fetish? How about you call it love?”
“How is that love?”
“I like that you’re wearing my clothes, I like that you come and stay here when I’m not around, and I like that you use my things without any hesitation.”
“……”
“Yours, mine. I like how those boundaries seem to crumble.”
Yeehyeon looked at Liu with an expression of deep emotion. His face showed regret for even having lightly chided him about a weird fetish. Liu set down his mug, leaned in deeply, and whispered in his ear.
“Just like when we have sex.”
Drrrk. Just then, Liu’s phone, which was on the other side of the table, buzzed briefly. Liu stretched his arm out, almost lying flat on the table, and got the phone in his hand. It was a message from the driver, announcing his arrival. Having missed his chance to rebuke Liu, Yeehyeon could only watch him quietly.
“I should get going.”
Liu said in a voice tinged with regret as he rose from his chair. Yeehyeon suddenly grabbed onto Liu’s shirt. It was an urgent movement, uncharacteristic of him.
“……”
When Liu looked down, Yeehyeon himself seemed flustered, as if surprised by his own action. He let go of his hand and hesitantly got up from his seat.
“I’ll walk you out.”
“You’re not well, why don’t you just see me off at the door?”
“It’s not that bad. I just feel a little sluggish.”
Yeehyeon, who had thrown a light jacket over his sweatshirt, grabbed his keys and followed him out.
Inside the elevator going down to the ground floor, Liu held Yeehyeon’s shoulder tightly. As was always the case when they parted, Yeehyeon, too, was unlike his usual self, wrapping his arms around Liu’s waist and not sparing any affection.
“I’m worried about you being alone when you’re sick.”
“You know me. I’m good at taking care of myself.”
“That’s true. There’s nothing to worry about with our Seo Yeehyeon. I know full well there’s nothing to worry about… but I’m still worried?”
“If it seems like it’s getting even a little worse, I’ll ask my sister to come over right away. Okay?”
It was a very Seo Yeehyeon-like answer. Only then did Liu smile in relief.
The Parisian afternoon, transitioning from late autumn to early winter, was quite chilly. It wasn’t cold enough to make one huddle up, but Liu was worried about Yeehyeon’s condition.
While the driver loaded the suitcase into the trunk, the two shared their final goodbyes. Liu fastened Yeehyeon’s jacket securely, then caressed his face with both hands.
“Don’t overdo it, okay?”
He gave a short kiss to the lips that nodded, and then pulled him into a tight embrace. The words “I don’t want to leave” pushed to the tip of his tongue, but knowing they would only make the lover in his arms feel worse, he ultimately swallowed them.
“We’ll see each other in three weeks. It’ll be fun to see Morae and Seo Leehan after a long time. I’m looking forward to it.”
A nod.
“Three weeks will fly by.”
A nod.
He couldn’t tell if he was saying it to soothe Yeehyeon, or if it was a self-hypnosis for himself. They would soon be spending countless hours together, yet this particular farewell felt exceptionally hard. Because they had been stuck together every day for 40 days. It wasn’t easy to let Yeehyeon go from his arms. Even the Parisians, who usually paid little mind to others, glanced at the two as they passed by. The hug was that long.
“Mister, you must depart now.”
The driver, who had finished loading the luggage and was waiting, gently prompted him. He loosened the arms that were embracing him, but he couldn’t bring himself to take them off Yeehyeon’s body.
“Go on inside.”
This time, too, Yeehyeon only answered with a nod.
Pointing his finger upwards, towards apartment 601, Liu joked.
“Call me when you get home. I’m worried.”
Thankfully, Yeehyeon smiled.
The driver approached and opened the back seat door. It seemed like a silent pressure to get it over with and get in quickly. Liu got into the vehicle while still holding Yeehyeon’s hand. The moment their fingertips, which had been holding on until the very end, slipped apart, Liu felt as if his own heart had dropped.
Thud. The heartless driver closed the door, separating the two. Liu lowered the tinted window.
“Hurry and go inside. Your face is pale.”
Yeehyeon, with both hands shoved into his jacket pockets, nodded, his face neither crying nor smiling. Liu’s face, as he forced a smile for him, was no different.
“Shall we depart?”
To the driver who asked in a stiff voice, Liu reluctantly nodded.
He waved his hand, trying to smile as brightly as he possibly could. Yeehyeon also took one hand out of his pocket and waved back.
In the side-view mirror, Yeehyeon grew more and more distant. Liu couldn’t take his eyes off the sight. Yeehyeon, too, was standing facing this way, unable to take a step.
“This is no way for a person to live.”
Liu muttered, wiping his face as if to crush it. He was shaking his head without realizing it. Even while doing so, he didn’t take his eyes off the side-view mirror.
The limousine was about a block away from apartment 601. Liu, who had been staring at the side-view mirror, narrowed his eyes and leaned in further. In the mirror, Yeehyeon was slowly moving his legs. And soon, he picked up speed and began to run, chasing the car.
It wasn’t an all-out sprint. It was a trudging gait, as if something had been taken from him and he was chasing after it in a daze with nothing else to do, which was no match for the moving car. Yeehyeon looked like a small child who had lost their guardian in an unfamiliar place and didn’t know what to do.
“Stop… stop the car!”
Liu shouted urgently, pounding on the passenger seat.
He jumped out as soon as the car stopped. He didn’t even have the presence of mind to close the door. He ran back towards Yeehyeon, back down the road the car had just driven, at full speed. It was the first time since becoming an adult that he had run like this anywhere other than on a treadmill.
Yeehyeon’s approaching face looked like it was crying. Liu, nearly going out of his mind, sped up until the soles of his feet burned. The moment he was within arm’s reach, he pulled Yeehyeon into an embrace. Hhh, hh, sob. Yeehyeon was sobbing. Liu, gasping for breath, kept adjusting his hold on him.
“It’s okay, Yeehyeon. It’s okay….”
Why are you crying, why did you follow me. Why did you do something you’ve never done before. Liu didn’t ask a thing. He just held Yeehyeon tightly in his arms, lowered his face to bury his lips by his ear, and tried to reassure him with his body, his scent, and his voice.
“Can’t you… stay a little… longer and then go?”
His trembling voice barely managed to form words between sobs.
Liu squeezed his eyes shut.
“Tomorrow… no, even the next flight… would be fine.”
“Yeehyeon.”
Yeehyeon’s hands clenched tightly around Liu’s back.
“Don’t go… I’m scared.”
To think he had made Yeehyeon say those words again. It was unbelievable.
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