At the time, everything had exploded at once, leaving no room for a proper apology, and by the time the fallout from the explosion had settled, Yeehyeon had already left this place. He had always wanted to meet in person and apologize. That was what Inwoo, looking quite different after nearly two years, had said.
They had occasionally checked in on each other through messages, but unlike in the past when he had been affably forward, he now seemed to keep a certain distance. Thinking it was probably because he felt sorry toward both himself and Liu, Yeehyeon had made no effort to close that distance.
Liu tilted his head back, letting the stream of water wash over his face. He turned to face Yeehyeon and leaned down for a short kiss. Taking the sponge, he began to scrub again at Yeehyeon’s chest, which Yeehyeon had already washed himself.
He just wanted him to show his emotions. Whether trivial or heavy, he wanted to accept them. Yeehyeon placed both hands on Liu’s shoulders and gently stroked them outward.
“I don’t mind you being jealous. You’re not still misunderstanding that I hate it… are you?”
He lifted his downcast eyes.
“Wanting to interfere, to control, to lock you away… Fortunately, my symptoms aren’t that severe. But yes, honestly, it’s on my mind. It doesn’t feel very good.”
“You’re not still upset about the kiss, are you?”
Wiping the water from his face, Liu playfully shook his head.
“Not that. I just hate even mentioning that ki… that incident.”
Again, in an unexpected moment, Liu’s lips came closer. It might have been an over-the-top assumption, but he seemed to press their lips together every time the word ‘kiss’ was mentioned. As if trying to cover the memory of the kiss with Inwoo with his own, every time it came to mind.
Yeehyeon could no longer hide his smile.
“What.”
He wrapped his arms around the neck of the man who was acting sullen to hide his embarrassment at having admitted his feelings.
“Do you know why I like it when A Wei is jealous?”
“……”
“It’s… really cute.”
The fact that Liu, who was considerate in every way to the point of being flawless, who never once threw the kind of unreasonable tantrum common between lovers, was particularly on edge only when it came to others’ affection for him, made Yeehyeon smile.
Liu bit his lower lip like someone holding back a laugh and wrapped his arms around Yeehyeon’s waist. He had the kind of face that looked awkward at being called cute, yet not entirely displeased to hear it from Yeehyeon.
“Come to think of it, it’s strange.”
What was strange? Yeehyeon’s wide eyes asked the question for him.
“Choi Inwoo is ‘hyung,’ so why am I ‘Daepyo-nim’?”
“I… don’t really call you Daepyo-nim anymore.”
“Hmm, but you don’t call me ‘hyung’ either.”
A playful urge sparked in Yeehyeon.
“Should I call you hyung from now on?”
“I don’t want to be called the same thing as Choi Inwoo.”
He shook his head firmly, his face scrunching up. These expressions of his, which he had probably never shown to anyone else, were lovely. He wanted to see more of them.
Yeehyeon cupped his cheeks in his hands and fiddled with them.
“I don’t know about you, A Wei, but I like times like this, too. Just… the two of us talking about silly things….”
He pulled Yeehyeon’s waist in closer. The gaze from beneath his lowered eyelids was warm.
“I like you, so how could I not like it?”
“Don’t just give such textbook answers.”
“……”
He looked down at Yeehyeon with a face that said he didn’t know what that meant. Yeehyeon grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the middle of the downpour of water. They embraced, their bodies still sudsy, and kissed. Even the stream of water seeping between their sealed lips felt stimulating.
They finished their shower, deliberately ignoring their half-erect penises. Their bodies, which had gotten a little hot from the steam in the shower stall, quickly dried to a pleasant state in the cool air upon leaving the bathroom. Without needing to rummage through the carry-on he had hastily packed from Paris, the underwear and pajamas Yeehyeon had left downstairs were neatly arranged in Liu’s dressing room.
Under the pretext of drying each other’s hair, they spent a long while tangled up, playing with a single hairdryer between them. By the time their hair was dry, they were thirsty.
“I’d like a beer. How about you, A Wei?”
“There’s no beer in the bedroom fridge right now. I’ll go get it.”
As Liu turned to head for the door, Yeehyeon urgently grabbed his shoulder.
“I’ll go.”
“……”
“You’ll… get spoiled.”
Liu chuckled and ruffled Yeehyeon’s completely dry hair.
“I think I could stand to be a little spoiled.”
Muttering this, he obediently let Yeehyeon go.
The moonlit living room was bright enough without turning on the lights. Before leaving the living room with two bottles of beer, Yeehyeon turned back as if drawn by something. The space was almost the same, except that “Colorful Ghost” now occupied the spot where “Isolation” had once hung.
It felt as if he had started his day here just this morning, and also as if he had been away for much longer than the time he had actually spent in Paris. There wasn’t a single spot in the house that didn’t hold a memory. In a place like this, he had waited for him, keeping his silence.
Yeehyeon suddenly became aware that he was standing in the very spot where he had first discovered “Isolation”. He looked up at “Colorful Ghost” hanging above the sofa. It seemed there was no need to bother counting what had been lost or gained, what had been replaced by what, in the flow of time.
Smiling faintly as if reminiscing about a pleasant past, Yeehyeon left the spot and hurried up the stairs. A sensor, detecting his presence, lit up the indirect lighting in the hallway as he passed and opened the bedroom door.
“……”
Yeehyeon, about to step into the room with his bare feet, paused for a moment. Liu, shirtless, was sitting leaned loosely against the headboard. The familiar scene, reminiscent of a point in the past, made Yeehyeon smile as he approached the bed.
Shuffling his hips to move further in, Liu patted the space beside him. As Yeehyeon was about to climb onto the bed, his gaze fixed on a picture frame on the nightstand.
“This… is actually a little embarrassing.”
“Hm?”
Liu, taking the beer, bent over to look where Yeehyeon’s gaze was directed. A smile spread across his face when he saw the frame. He reached out an arm toward Yeehyeon’s side, who had stopped awkwardly.
“Why, I like it as much as ‘Isolation’ or ‘Colorful Ghost’.”
“Are you serious?”
Liu’s arm wrapped around Yeehyeon’s waist and snatched him up. Suddenly losing his balance, Yeehyeon fell onto Liu’s lap. He took one of the beer bottles from Yeehyeon’s hand and grinned.
“If “Isolation” is a painting of Seo Yeehyeon before he knew me, then ‘Mr. Rabbit’ is how Seo Yeehyeon saw me.”
At his face, smiling happily like a child, a laugh escaped Yeehyeon as well. He got off his lap and sat facing him right next to him. They lightly clinked their beer bottles, opened by twisting the caps, and quenched their post-shower thirst. While chugging the beer that was so cold it made his head tingle, Yeehyeon kept glancing at the drawing in the frame.
When he had come up to the bedroom before going out for their dinner plans and discovered the ‘Mr. Rabbit’ drawing, Yeehyeon had doubted his eyes. It felt as if someone had cast a spell that transcended time and space. And in the next moment, his face had flushed, feeling as if he’d been caught in a secret, personal whim from a past when he had been conscious of his presence.
Liu explained that he had gone to Bali last summer on vacation. He told him everything, from meeting Morae on Seminyak Beach, to Leehan joining them, to confessing about the Changing to the two of them, and even to getting punched in the face by Leehan.
「While you were in your silence, the people who stayed by your side were those two… I felt so relieved. He had every right to hit me.」
That’s what Liu had said with a smile to a flustered Yeehyeon.
The plan had been to go to Bali for a few days’ vacation after the European museum tour, and it was something he had already discussed with Morae and Leehan. Even while talking about the plan to visit with Liu several times, the two of them had made no mention of having met him and heard about the Changing. That was why Yeehyeon had been so utterly surprised.
Liu set the beer bottle down, resting it on his abs. He looked down at the green bottle and carefully opened his mouth.
“Morae-ssi was a Golden.”
“…Noona was?”
“It’s very rare, but there are people who master how to control it on their own. People who are skilled at objectively contextualizing their own state or emotions and controlling them.”
If so, it was perfectly understandable that Morae could have become a Golden without even realizing it herself. Yeehyeon nodded.
“I suggested she get tested. It makes things easier in various ways if you’re officially identified as a Golden. But Morae-ssi just… smiled.”
Yeehyeon felt he could paint a picture of how Morae must have smiled at his suggestion. To her, the official certification of being a Golden was probably just a meaningless administrative distinction. Whether she was recognized as a Golden or not, neither she nor her life would change to fit it.
Liu reached out and wrapped a hand around the nape of Yeehyeon’s neck. Then he touched his forehead to Yeehyeon’s and smiled.
“It won’t take that long for Seo Yeehyeon to become a Golden either. You were very quick at sensing your own pheromones.”
Gently kneading the nape of his neck, Liu pressed their lips together. Like gentle beasts confirming and communing with a partner, they rubbed their noses and lips together, showing affection. With their lips still touching, Yeehyeon whispered.
“I missed you.”
“……”
Liu’s face was like that of someone who had received an unexpected gift. Watching him wipe his face, trying not to show how moved he was, Yeehyeon felt a pain like a tremor. He felt as if his lack of expression was failing to satisfy him emotionally.
He never forced or begged for affection, but Yeehyeon knew that such consideration wasn’t just because of his guilt over the Changing. It was simply the way he loved him. Even if he hadn’t done anything wrong, he would have cherished him in the same way.
“I missed you a lot.”
It was a clumsy and direct method. Liu, sensing Yeehyeon’s intention to express his feelings even in this way, smiled and rubbed their noses together.
“I missed Seo Yeehyeon a lot, too. So much that when you said you were coming, I was happy, but also felt it was unfair that I had to wait a week longer than usual to see you.”
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